completely lost, done with life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by losthawk96, Jun 17, 2012.

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  1. losthawk96

    losthawk96 New Member

    I feel completely lost. This past week ive discovered why people treat me the way they do. im to nice for this world, people take advantage of my kindness and generousity and all my so called " friends" have been nothing but fakes, they all talk shit behind my back, they lie to my face, they want to see me fall when ive been nothing but a geniune frriend! I cant even organize my thoughts right now. All the sudden everything hit me at once, ive relized my "friends" only call me when they need favors or when there extremely bored, idk if its always been like this or if im just now relizing it and to top it off This past year i was talking to this girl that i loved so much and i would do anything for her, turned to also be a HUGE fake, she even told me she only talked to me for my weed and whatever she could get out of me. This girl completely mind fucked me and has caused severe stress to my brain because of how fake she was and all the mind games shes played on me. Ive been distant from my family ever since i got out of highschool in 2008. Ive been extremely lonely with no one to even talk to. I want to tell my family whats going on but there just gonna look at me like im crazy. I officailly feel like i have no friends. I got laid off about 7 months ago so i have no money and stuck in this house with no where to go with no modevation to get another job becaause i dont feel like working at a peice of shit job that i hate for the amount of money i could find on the street in an hour. Ive lost all interest in everything tht i used to love. Theres nothing on this earth that i like anymore and im tired of living. everyday i wake up unhappy with nothing to keep my mind occupied so it causes me to think and think and think. I want to kill myself and i will once i come across a gun. I feel like ill never make friends agian because ive lost trust and hope in humanity and everybody just seems so fake . This world is to crazy for me. Im loosing mad light in this harsh reality. I feel like a burden to my family. I wish i could just move on with my life and make money but theres no career out there for me and school is not for me. so what am i to do? I wasnt a planned baby, i should have never been born, i wish my mom had an abortion. My life feels like one big joke. I dont even want to post this because im scared to get negative feed back cuz that will just make me feel even worst. i dont know what to do. The chance of life is so slim its mind boggling and yet people feel like they need to be assholes to one another. i bet were just an alien experiment, our lives mean nothing and if the world was to blow up the universe wouldnt even know. "what is that there spraying" look that up on youtube. our rain and soil are being posioned..... and nobody is aware of it. the reality of this world makes me not wanna live im completely done with it
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    YouTube is hardly a source of accurate information.
    If your friends are useless, drop them and find new friends. THEY are not a good reason for you to lose your own personal value. If you are kind and caring and genuine, then rise above them and remain better. We all have our down times between jobs or through stressful situations, but this is a natural progression of life. You're young (22? 23?) and have your whole life ahead. Your parents DO CARE... believe me, as parents our kids are the most important thing in the world, even when it's difficult to show it. Talk to them. Let them know you're feeling depressed. If you twisted your arm or sprained your ankle, would you not get some help to heal? What you're experiencing is simply a medical condition also and can be treated. Then, surround yourself with people who are more genuine. They're out there, believe me I am not unique in having found many who are... If I can, you can as well. It is a selective process and like anything else, you have to work at it. Keep the good you find and discard the useless. Best wishes to you.
  3. StevenSiew

    StevenSiew Well-Known Member

    I think that you have seen reality. Well do you remember what Phillip K Dick said about what reality is?


    Reality is anything that does not go away when you are completely and utterly sick of it.

    or in plain English "reality are the things that sucks and continue sucking and will never stop sucking."

    PS: by the way. I sucks therefore I am REAL.
  4. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Hey losthawk. Here is my theory... It's ok to be as nice as you want to be, it's just not ok to be guileless. In other words, it's up to you not to let people take advantage of you. Not saying that that is an easy task but it's just part of life I believe. Don't lose hope...
  5. losthawk96

    losthawk96 New Member

    Thank you all for you're response, i highly appreciate it, more than youll ever know. I woke upp today feeling different, the need to fight on and keep breathing thank you all
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