Complicated relationship

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Jade24, Oct 16, 2016.

  1. Jade24

    Jade24 Active Member

    (I wrote this for my boyfriend)
    It has happened before. Yet I haven't seem to learn my lesson because here I am yet again. Beginning stage, oh so perfect.
    A fantastic facade used as a hook to catch them into it all.
    Yet they have no clue. Because every thing is wonderful for the time being.
    Affections shared and bonds created.
    But I can't help but feel guilty.
    Because things will undoubtedly change course.
    And of course it will be for the worse.
    Now attached.
    Isn't it supossed to be a good thing?
    But to their surprise, everything was a lie.
    I guess I'm a good actor. They couldn't have known about all the pain. A hurricane of thoughts. And a flood of emotions. They thought they were living in Paradise.
    But now they see that everything is in shambles.
    They were just looking at the picture.
    It must be terrifying for them I imagine.
    But all do is try to comfort me, when they realise this is all mine.
    I live this hell everyday. I'm kinda used to it in a way.
    By that I mean I never expect anything better.
    How could they be okay with me lying?
    Why did I do this.
    Now they're stuck here for the time being?
    And they're the ones apologizing.
    I introduced them to my vicious cycle of pain.
    Its dangerous just to be near it.
    I hate myself.
    How could I have been so selfish.
    I should have just kept it all to myself.
    What have I done