Complicated Situation.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Breathe, Dec 3, 2009.

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  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    Right, I really need advice, just to hear someone else's point of view. I'll explain...

    My dream job is and always has been to get in the RAF regiment but 3 things are working agaisnt me on that front, i have a weak heart (birth defect), i have asthma and i am female :| I am on a course which i believed would help me get that job before the RAF told me i could not join even the roles females can work at because of the health concerns. Meaning my course is useless. I told my family i would become a paramedic but it was just a lie to keep them happy.

    My course is annoying me, they call me in at moments notice, lose my work and it has no relavance to what i want to do anymore. I learnt even if i did want to be a paramedic i could not use this qualification to get into uni :( Plus because they lost some of my work but with no record of me handing it in, they are blaming me and threatening to kick me out.

    I dont know what to do. I was thinking of following my passions in life before i pick a career. I love art i can do it for hours drawing, studying, leanring techniques and about famour artisits and people say i am a good artist myself. I even get paid now and then for doing projects and portraits for people. And i am in a band as i also have a love for music getting paid for doing gigs at pubs. I am a creative person.

    Problem is. My parents might be angry if i leave my course which i want to do as it feels as if it is slowly killing me, studying something i have no intrest in. I want to leave with a certificate of what units i have done and go on to study art or something. But my parents might be mad. I dont think they like the idea of a art career, they are proud of my art work but since i have been going on for a while about paramedics they might be pissed off at my sudden change :S but i cant keep living to please them. I want to do what i love.

    What should i do?

    Any thoughts would help. I am soooo confused :(
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know you want to please your parents, but sometimes you have to do what you really want to do, what makes you happy. So my advice would be to go for what it is you love, and hopefully if you talk things over with your parents, maybe they'll come to understand where you're coming from.
  3. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    No such luck. My change of mind plus the fact my room is messy is making them threaten to kick me out :( swell as call me some quite nasty names.

    Who kicks out their 17 yr old daughter in the middle of winter with no way to support themselves, not even a place to go? My mother has even turned my family agaisnt me so no luck there.

    My life is fucked up badly. I dont know what to do. I really dont know what to do.

    I'm starting to think suicide would be easier then carrying on like this. My boyfriend seems to be the only good thing in my life at the moment and his support is the only thing keepin me up but soon that wont be enough. Maybe i should finally check myself into a mental insitution.
  4. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    Actually scratch that.

    A mental insitution would give my father more reason to hate me, my brother more reason to call me a freak and my mother more gossip to spread to her friends and my family "hey did you know, my daughter is in the coo coo hospital" two hours after she found out about my self harming last year my whole family knew so why not this? She doesnt realise i dont want that information passed out to everyone. :(

    Maybe i will be homeless or dead this christmas
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