I've been doing this a lot lately. I used to be very lenient with my purchases, never buying things in excess yet lately I've spent close to my entire monthly income on expensive items, month after month. I could have a lot of money saved if I had some more self control. I feel like living in the moment though or something, even if it means my life will be shitty in the future because of it (though I don't know how it could be any worse except for pure homelessness) I don't have any direction in life or prospects any how so I don't know if I should enjoy myself with these stupid purchases or try to actually save. I don't give a fuck about myself so I might as well enjoy myself while I can, I guess. Sucks though because I used to exercise, diet strictly, bought only the essentials and now I'm spending $1000's of dollars on guitar equipment shitty food and beer and sitting on my ass most of the day getting fat. There would be nothing wrong with this if I were a musician in a band living the dirty life and having sex with young women but I'm just a lonely ugly loser that nobody would want to freely associate with and people would either feel sorry for or just think I was pathetic if I actually socialized with anybody. I don't make a lot of money either. That’s the thing though. I'm like the lowest social and economical strata and I'm doing this. I guess I'm just the lowest on the bell curve so it figures I would do retarded things such as this. Oh well, I'm crazy anyways. I'll enjoy being an ugly feral muppet inebriated and playing shitty music to myself.