Compulsive lying

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Matt93, Feb 19, 2011.

  1. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    This night has drawn to my attention the way I compulsively lie. I do my best not to, when my mind tries to lie I can just shut up and not say a word. But, still they come out FAR too often.

    I want to stop them completely. I hate it. Is anyone else like that, or have you been and been able to stop it all?

    Please, I need to stop this all.
  2. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    I used to be a compulsive liar as part of my depression, I think the thing that makes the difference is learning not to be scared of telling the truth.
  3. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    It's not I'm scared to tell the truth, I'm ashamed of what the truth is. I tell things about my life, that aren't truth, because I want people to think something of me, because I want people to understand that I'm worth something, and then all the lies get out of hand, and become stupid little things.

    I can stop myself from saying the odd ones, that are too far, but I can't stop them all. Is there any physical way to stop them?
  4. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Scared is not quite the right word, but I think you've just demonstrated my point that it's more the fear of the consequences and reactions to the truth.

    I don't think there's any physical way as such, what I found helpful during arguments about it with my father when I found it difficult to own up or admit things, was to physically stop at the point where I was about to lie and 'fess up. Not only was I telling the truth, but because of the shift in my body-language - and because he knows me very well - he could tell that I had decided to tell the truth. In turn that made him more trusting over time, to the point now where we have a truly strong relationship.

    So I'll rephrase and say - don't be scared of the consequences and reactions to truths.
  5. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    I will try all that I can In Limbo.

    Thank you for your replies, they do mean a lot to me.
  6. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Not a problem
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I tend to exaggerate. It leads to anxiety, as I worry about being "caught". It's a horrible cycle, and I wish I could just stop doing it, but once you start telling something, you can't say "NVM"
  8. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    It makes me feel worse than I already do every time I say a lie, or exaggerate something, because I want people to know the real me, but I can't help but exaggerate or lie to them. There's so much I've said in the past that was a complete load of balls, and I'm worried a lot will come back to haunt me. Some already have, and I've had to face up to the consequences of it all. Some of my lies are blatant, but some I can make really believable, because I am made to believe them. I don't know if anyone else can do such a thing, but I can make myself believe my own lies, and from therein, they become truth to me.

    It's fucking pathetic, I'm fucking pathetic.
  9. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I think all of us at some point have not been completely honest. It is perfectly normal to exaggerate or try to put yourself in a different light depending on who you are talking to. While it is good to be truthful and just be yourself in certain situations, also remember that at the end of the day, your business is your business. People don't have to know every little detail about your life, so rather than lie, what about just revealing less or asking them questions back?
  10. stuckinchicago6

    stuckinchicago6 Well-Known Member

    I am exactly the same way. There have been times where the anxiety of getting caught has left me in extreme fear and I have even struggled with paranoia lately as a result.
  11. Useless2D

    Useless2D Member

    This probably won't help, but still worth the idea.

    Well I can not tell you how to stop however I can tell you what not to do from my own experiences and how I stop lying compulsively . Being to loner whom no one ever talks to or goes anywhere and does nothing, I've little to nothing to hold a conversation with anyone. Because of this a forced myself into becoming a mute in public. Sounds reasonable in theory, but in practice it caused more problems. I'd been quite for so long that now I've no communication skills and shy away from meting people and making any friends. I can easily communicate to anyone wile writing to typing something, but when I try to talk I often jumble words together and say things in a different context of what I meant to say.

    Next time you lie ask yourself why you did? Did it make sense? And was there anything specific about said lie?
  12. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    Thanks Useless2D, for the idea. I often shy away from public meetings with people I don't know. But, I don't think that I could become a mute in public, I love to talk to my friends, which I suppose is slightly my problem.

    I will ask myself those questions next time though :)