Concerned about my wife ... need advice.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by cmykrantz, Aug 13, 2014.

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  1. cmykrantz

    cmykrantz New Member

    Hello, I'm new to this forum. I'm looking for some advice about what I can do to help/support/get help for my wife, who within the last few weeks and more frequently in the last few days, has told me she is considering suicide, and has begun cutting herself ... I'll call it superficial experimentation, at this point ... on one wrist. She is incredibly resistant to even consider going to a doctor of any sort ... let alone a mental health professional ... so it would take a long time to move her in that direction. I'm trying to find an alternative to something involuntary to prevent her from doing something drastic to harm herself. Any advice is appreciated.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to the forum. Try an elastic band as an alternative to self-harming. I use it and the stink of an elastic bands helps me and stops me from self-harming. Look at CBT therapy as well. This might help. This forum is very supportive and caring for those in crisis. It's a PRO-LIFE forum and will everyone in crisis. Deep breathing exercises will help as well. Try the search facility to see if the other threads that might help. Keep posting here for more support.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I know you said she wouldn't go near a professional but would she be open to the idea of couples therapy? Also...maybe her joining this site might be able to help her. Maybe she needs time, but that's the problem with suicide isn't it, its a race against time. I'm sorry I could not have been of more help!
  4. cmykrantz

    cmykrantz New Member

    Petal ... thanks for the reply. You are right. I feel like I'm in a race against time right now. When I've mentioned therapy to her, it's always been with offer that if she wants me there, I'm there, so yes, couples therapy is an option I've suggested to consider.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    what abt just a therapist someone to talk to that is non judgemental and can help her with these thoughts of suicide I know my therapist has kept me going for awhile now
    Psychologist a therapist a councilor all good choices tell her that can help her
  6. Does she like animals? Try getting her a pet. A dog or a cat. It sounds silly but it really helps when you are having suicidal thoughts to have something that loves you unconditionally and depends on you. Get a rescue animal it will help her feel more attached to the pet because she gave it a better living situation. My little dog has done a lot to help me through my depression.

    She told you about her thoughts that is a good sign that she wants help.Since you can't get her to go to the doctor, fake some allergies and get Phenergan from your doctor, it is an allergy medication but the antihistamine also has anti-depressive anti-psychotic affects. (Benadryl works ok as well.) Tell her when she is having a severe emotional freak out to take one and it will help calm her down almost instantly. Go to your nearest head shop and get some CBD e-fluid( if it is legal in your state I know it's legal in mine.) Then get an inexpensive e-cigarette setup. The US government has legalized CBD sales(not sure if in all states) and consumption it is the therapeutic chemical in Cannabis that is known to combat stress, anxiety, and pain. The breathing from inhaling the vapor will also help calm her down. Keep some sriracha (hot sauce) in the house, and tell her when she feels like self harming to eat a small to moderate amount. The capsaicin releases endorphins that will help her to calm down as well. These things may help with the self harming and curb the urge to commit suicide. One of the main reasons people self harm is not for "experimentation" the pain releases endorphins that cuts off the emotional pain almost instantly and it gives you a sense of control over your pain. Another thing I would do is take a cold shower the shock from the cold water helps me calm down.

    Encourage her to exercise. Pick a day or two and go on a nice walk with her. Make sure she is not alone too much, many of my attempts were stopped because I had someone to talk to or people were home. Make sure she is getting plenty of sleep. Lack of sleep has a major effect on your mood and your judgement. Get meletonin and have her take it to regulate her sleep. Most of all make sure she knows you support her and love her. Don't make her feel bad or guilty because of her thoughts just let her know that you love her and just want her to be happy. Don't belittle her feelings or make her feel like she is selfish or a coward for being suicidal. It's madding to have the urge to take your own life and extra guilt will not make it any less so. Remind her that life is not just pain and injustice but it also has beauty worth experiencing. I can tell you love your wife because you are trying to help her. I wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for the love and support of my husband, friends, and family. If she needs someone un-biased and not so close to home to talk to have her make an account. There are tons of supportive people here and it helps to know that you are not alone in your struggle.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 13, 2014
  7. randomguy9

    randomguy9 Put's the "Pro" in Profanity Chat Pro

    Talking about it with her is the 1st step. Be calm as you can, and acknowledge the feelings.

    Please avoid judement as much as you can.

    As far as the doctor goes... I know I was resistant about it until I hit as close to rock bottom as I wanted to go. Being involuntarily hospitalized made me realize I needed help.

    I have felt some hope sense then...

    It might be good to find some stories of people who have recovered from those feelings for her.
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