confession (brittany, don't read this)

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by scared_child, Nov 27, 2006.

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  1. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I have been cutting again...brittany doesn't know. My family doesn't know. nobody knows. I can't seem to stop. Brittany is my fiance, and yet...I can't bring myself to tell her that i need help. I've always been one of those people who can't ask for help, and won't admit to needing help. So, what should I do now?
  2. the other guy

    the other guy Well-Known Member

    Well since u did post, u r actally asking for help, that is always a good (step)
    direction to go in.

    Just post what u need more help in, and SF will try to help.

    Posting is like talking, it all helps.
  3. Mya

    Mya Well-Known Member

    Songi dont do anything stupid ok cutting is one thing but plz dont go any further im way to scared to worry about losing you ok?
  4. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    no, actually, I'm not asking for help! I'm trying to talk to someone. there is a major difference, if I was asking for help, I would ask my gf to take all of the sharp objects out of my house.
  5. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    don't worry about me killing myself, k, I already promised Brittany that I wouldn't kill myself.
  6. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Does she know you've cut before? You need to fess up to it before she finds out on her own. Same thing happen to me a month or so back. Only I'm already married, and one day while teasing around, she saw them. She was so shocked and I was ashamed. it wasn't a good situation. I'm not one to disclose my personal life to anyone, even my wife. But thru many hardships with her I've learned it's better to tell her than her find out on her own. I can't tell her face to face most the time though, so we write letters back and forth. It makes it easier to say what you have to say.
  7. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    She knows that I've cut before, and she used to as well. But, we kinda made a promise that we would stop. And...i don't wanna lose her.
  8. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    You think maybe you could stop again? Do you know why you started up again? It's ok, if you don't really have a reason. I've thought about cutting today, just to fill in time and rid my life of boredom. Maybe if you could explain to her how your feeling she will understand. Your lucky to have someone who knows what it's like. If she loves you as much as you love her, I would think she'd understand.
  9. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I know she would understand, but...I don't want to see that disappointment and sadness in her eyes. It breaks my heart.
  10. consciousinsane

    consciousinsane Well-Known Member

    Let's see if I can word this right. My therapist told me this once when we were discussing me telling my wife how I feel.

    He said that I was being rude to her and saying she was less of a person, because I decided for her that she could not handle what I would say to her. It was dishonest and degrading to her, by not telling her how I felt for no other reason than, I didn't want to see her get mad, or hurt, or sad. That I wasn't allowing her to be capable enough as a person to make a choice herself as to whether she could handle it or not.
  11. Come on Pandy, too many scars are really a turn off.
    And you do have a lot of scars.
  12. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    I know...I just...i really hate seeing her like that. I guess I should probably tell her whats going on though.
  13. Bob26003

    Bob26003 Well-Known Member

    You seem to have the will enough to care and that is good. Motivation!

    What you prolly need to work on is the problem IMO.

    What is causing you to cut, and what can you do about it?

    But, what the hell do I know.
  14. scared_child

    scared_child Account Closed

    lol! Well, mostly the thing that causes me to cut is completely breaking down. Certain things just trigger it.
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