Confessions of a Nurse!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Butterfly, May 9, 2013.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    And what better way to start this off than talking about the latest outbreak of D&V (the shits and puking to all the lay people out there). It's not easy trying to contain D&V in one bay, when you have 6 demented, confused and wandering men spreading their germs and shit (literally) amongst each other. So now naturally most of the ward has got it. It has been like a farmyard, with all the wanderers wandering everywhere BUT the toilet and thinking the middle of the bay is an appropriate place to offload their stomach ache. It is a picture when you have several nurses chasing after them dragging them to the toilet!

    Naturally, this latest outbreak has meant that the ward has been closed. HUURAAAAAHHHH!!!!! No admissions!!!! We were all extremely pleased with this. We could still send patients home, but couldn't take any new admissions!

    Of course, relatives are extremely displeased about this latest outbreak, with several of us yelling in our heads "it's probably you that brought it in" They never wash their hands then sit on patients beds but trying to blame us for it. Oh well, SHIT happens!!
     
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Oh dear! Well... I hope you don't bring it home to dear fiance. That would really suck. I hope you had isolation gear on!
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry you had such a crappy day .......
     
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Yes Jason. The blue gowns we have to wear are ever so fetching. It really brings out my figure (in all the wrong places).


    Ben, it certainly brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "crappy day".
     
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry, Lexi!
     
  6. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Oh dear, Lexi. God. You have my utmost respect for performing that job. Hospitals don't run without nurses. You guys are the backbone of the whole operation. ;)
     
  7. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I totally forgot I started this thread!



    The awkward moment you are washing a patient, and their necrotic toe falls off in your hand O_O
     
  8. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member



    lol, litirally!

    had to do that..
     
  9. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    7

    Oh God I had that happen once to me, I was very junior and screamed my head off lol
     
  10. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    Eep! Necrotic toe. Eep!

    Imagine being stuck in the morgue with a dead body, and being asked to stay in there, while a tearful family says goodbye.
     
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter


    I was just like, "Erm, what do I do with this?" just stood there with a toe in my hand. The HCA I was working with was just laughing at me.
     
  12. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I see your toe and raise you a turd!
     
  13. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Think I should be dubbed "The Angel of Death". Not having much luck in actually keeping people alive at the moment :(
     
  14. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    It happens, and usually in 3s
    Once had a night shift, was on my own whilst other nurse was at dinner, 3 in the morning and one cardiac arrest after the other.
    I ended up dashing from one to the other, attempting resus as I went.
    Went home feeling like a pile of shit.
     
  15. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Yeah it did come in 3's, twice! I'm now relishing my days off wishing I could be a lady of leisure forever! Lol!
     
  16. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    When patient's relatives phone the ward and instantly know it is you because you have been at work for far too many days.

    Think I need to get drunk :drunk: :help:
     
  17. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    So, night shifts are now over and to get through them I drank copious amounts of monster and rockstar to get me through and to top up required caffeine level. Unfortunately, this has caused a very bad gastrointestinal disturbance. Think I am going to barrier nurse myself in my room for a few days!
     
  18. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Dear fluid and sliding scale pumps,

    I would appreciate it if you just shut the fuck up for longer than 5 minutes. I am feeling grouchy, and sleep deprived and getting up to turn you off is beginning to become very tiresome and boring. Why can't you play a nice song when the line occludes instead of an annoying beep that can be heard on the other side of the hospital? That would be very nice and sweet on the ears. Maybe you can play a lullaby so the guy who has been non stop agitated for 48 hours can finally get some sleep!

    Please have more consideration for the people surrounding your environment,

    Yours sincerely,

    A very grumpy (and tired) nurse.
     
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