Confidence, or lack of it......

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by 2-D, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Right, as some of you know - ive had a fair amount of shit happen to me (almost ended in my death about 3 diff times if my attempts had not been so god damn pathetic :()

    im basically a total retard when it comes to making freinds and stuff, that and i tend to get shy/nervous when talking to people, espesially girls (the fact i look 1000s time more ugly then a pile of elephant dung dont rli help matters) but if i could change just one thing, it would be to end my chronic singleness - but i dont rli like going out (main down fall) as i see it, i have no point in going out as im not one for pubs clubs and i dont need to get anything for myself shopping wise - but i dunno :( maybe my punishment is to live my life single :(


    sorry for the rant, but its just i hate feeling so lonely, but at the same time its like - im too pathetic to do anything about it :(
     
  2. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    Im very shy/nervous. but there come's a point you will think sod it... i need to be happy, your depression is making you think your UGLY, when in reality i bet you are not........
    its a case of forcing your self to do these things, and you never no you may just like it :) x
     
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    I made a goal to achieve better social skills almost a year ago, and when I had the chance to redeem myself I didn't. I think to myself that I was born unsocial and meant to be it. I have grown so tired of wasting my words in meaningless relationships that never get anywhere, I realize sometimes having a person there to lean on won't fill the true depthness of the hollowness.

    We both lack self-esteem, confidence but we were made this way, were only human and sometimes you don't need to care and let people open to you.
     
  4. Flavio

    Flavio Member

    I am shy and pathetic and a complete idiot when it comes to relationships.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi 2-D, I think we have spoken before..when I was new here lol!

    I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so low.

    You aren't a retard hun, you shouldn't put yourself down like that.

    I rarely go out too and find it extremely difficult to talk to people, you aren't alone. I'm here if you need to talk :hug: stay safe!
     
  6. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies - its just, over the net im fine with talking to people - but when it comes to face to face talking and stuff, it all depends on who im talking to depends on how i act, i either clam up cause im shy or shut down cause i cant stand them, or else im either as close to myself as possible (most likely when im with my best mate) or just auto answers

    well, i would not know what im like in relationships as ive not been in one (i mean BF/GF thing) and at times i dont give a tinkers toss about it - but at times, specially when im low - it seems to me the only thing that can ease the pain is a cuddle from a S/O - but alas, it seems i am one of the people upon this god forsaken spit of rock that was born unsocial (i know this to be true, but that i dont wish to delve in to) its just i dont go out if i cant at least see the reason for it - which is why i spend 99% of the time in front of the PC

    and to sweetheart: im always putting myself down like that, dunno if i mean to or not, just do. we might have, im not sure *hug - no matter how many times i try and better myself, i just end up the same as always - total failure of epic proporsions
     
  7. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    i am very much the same 2-D i usually dont care that im without a girl, but when catastrophe struck and i started spiraling deeper into absolute misery about a month or so ago i started want female companionship to comfort me. I also spend 99% of time at PC. I am certainly unsocial and unable to properly relate to people.

    i dont feel confident in anything, and no will to do anything. at least its comforting to know there are others like me
     
  8. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    closest i get to socialising is World of Warcraft or MSN >.<;

    but its always been hard for me to feel confident, and every attempt ive made to try and gain confidence backfires and knocks me down further then were i started, but meh - why is it so much trouble to try and gain that little bit of female companionship?
     
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I've met many people like yourself who say they lack confidence. I think it's that and also what society says to us. We have to be a certain type of person, and if your that type of person then you will get more friends and more people talking to you. It's stupid but it's true.

    Anyways i'm a great conversationalist, so if you want any advice or anything then feel free to PM me anytime.
     
  10. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Thanks, lol - most convos with me tend to become one sided, i tend to just let the other person talk
     
  11. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Ah I see, well i'm sure as you get involved more in conversations, the more confidence you will gain and then it will be pretty easy for you and also then the convos won't be one sided unless you want them to be.
    And i'm sure in no-time you will have female companions.
     
  12. ergo51

    ergo51 Well-Known Member

    This may sound like a silly answer but get a job in a pub.......try and pick a cool one not too commercial, privately owned bars are best.........You will be amazed at how many lonely people work in bars and I know I've managed a couple(just don't ask them and don't admit it yourself most of them will be pretending) and an easy excuse is you need extra money..............If it doesn't work go to another pub!! Sounds like a crap idea on the face of it but it's a good environment to practise socialising, after all you don't have to justify being there as your'e working and you'll be forced to communicate! Nights are best, if you cock up everyone will be too drunk to notice or care! You'll get to talk to loads of girls by default as well. Believe it or not this is a serious suggestion.................
     
  13. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    never thought of working in pubs, im trying to get a job at the moment - i know of a few pubs and clubs in my area, so when im next in town, ill pop in ill see if there are any jobs going.
     
  14. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    Thats an awesome tip Long! After all that is all there is to it "practice" and the guts to confront the shyness. I am a very shy guy myself. In the right crowd I can shine but "if" I feel insecure I am usually hopeless lol.

    2-D Best of luck on your quest for confidence in yourself and to social improvements.

    P.S. 2-D, I am on the same quest and all true I haven't played much WoW (old GW fan myself), I bet it beats any quest they can ever muster, don´t you think? ;)
     
  15. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    I like that working in a pub idea :cool:

    Having a shared subject to start with (hobbies etc) helps to get to know folk and get over the initial getting to know you hump, however long that takes.......and also gives a certain subject to retreat to. If you pick a subject that involves both internet and meeting in real life all the better.

    My "hobby" used to be drinking (etc) myself stupid in Thailand for months at a time. over many years. It's how I met the late Missus. She weren't a naughty girl (loads of those around :tongue:), but I won't say she was a "good girl" either, she / her family were in wholesale and retail pharmaceuticals, amongst many other diverse business interests.
     
  16. 2-D

    2-D Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the luck, tho if truth be told, i would need a miricle, and those only happen in movies :(

    lol, only thing i can seeing is that this quest beats any ones Blizz/who ever is in the impossibilty factor :mellow:
     
  17. bornfree

    bornfree Guest

    Mmm...not too sure about the working in a pub idea.
    At boozers socializing is fuelled, induced by alcohol intake of the punters which means they are not their "normal", sober selves when talking to pub staff and among each others.
    Of course it is very subjective, depending also on the type of pub, wether it's busy or not but in terms of improving your social skills I would not recommend serving people in a boozer.
    I say that because I used to work in cool independent pubs and I know what goes on there most of the times. If you are not very confident, a pub environment might either brake you or toughen you up.

    I would instead recommend investing into something you really enjoy doing and through that meeting people, like for example enrolling on a course, a subject you love and want to find out more about it or becoming a member of a sport club, art club, etc. Anything revolving around your passion which then involves socializing with people who share the very same passion of yours.

    All the best,
     
  18. ergo51

    ergo51 Well-Known Member

    A good post. Definately worth people considering all the points here . I wasn't 100% sure when I suggested the idea but I did say if it doesn't work out go to another pub. Ironically I think people not being their 'normal' selves can be a good place to practise because then it doesn't matter.....but it's just practise......Hmmm I know I'm sailing close to the wind here I think anyone reading should mix my positive with Bornfree's negative, that way your eyes will be open to most outcomes and you can stay objective.