Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by siberianhusky6315, Jul 22, 2009.

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  1. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    Hi everyone. I am not sure what to do with my life. I spend about a year living as a recluse and I don't like it. Problems, oh yes I have lots of problems. It's also a shame that I am still living with my parents, having no life. I avoid the outside world because I have low esteem and I am ugly. People my age shouldn't be losing their hair prematurely like me and someone even told me how ugly I am with my soon-to-be-bald head, that hurts me significantly.

    I have no social life, used to have a little but it all gone sour and I decided not to hang out with them because they were very cruel to me at the end. I tried killing myself lately and didn't succeed in it at all. I am sure a loser. I am in debts. I don't have my own car. I am talentless. I am hopeless in education. I am broke. My parents are a bunch of morons. I am dependent on others. I have no love life (I always wanted to have another gay partner). I am unemployed. I have no privacy at all (parents coming into my room whenever the fuck they life, tried to explain to them but they fucked me up).

    I also wanted to see the therapist to solve my grim problems but I am penny-less and my stupid parents are the only one who could take me to see a therapist because they have all the healthcare benefits from work. I am just sitting around, awaiting for them to change their attitudes in seeing a therapist.

    Currently, I am starving myself and hopefully to death. I got to battle my natural survival instinct to not eat.
  2. kfcheong

    kfcheong Member

    Hi husky,

    You feel like you have a very low self-esteem. You wished that life could be kinder to you and that things could improve for you.

    It seems like the people around you have been cruel to you and you have decided to put an end to their cruel jokes by not hanging out with them. However, there are sometimes when you wished that there was someone to share your life with.

    Your parents do not make it easier for you as they don't seem to understand what you are going through.

    husky, can you tell me what is it you used to enjoy doing? Has it always been like that? What would you wish to change in your life?

    i really hope that things will turn out better for you.
  3. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    I used to hang out with friends every Saturday. I enjoy reading and video games. I used to save up for a car back then but now all my savings is gone. Now, I am just living like a vampire. I used to look forward to school.

    I wish I have the freedom to move out of the house. Yes, I have kinda always been like that. Ever since grade 9 to post graduation, I always had some twisted thoughts on suicide and I am "overly-sensitive". It's a matter of time that my emotions would go towards the red zone that's where I will really lose it. Could just friggin jump of the building.

    I haven't eaten in more than 12 hours.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Can you not just go to hospital emergency and tell them you are sucidal thus get you the help you need. Call the crisis line let them know your situation and they will lead you to options on how to get help. Is there any voluteer work you can do just to get you out and involved with other people. I hope you get the care you need you do deserve it please call crisis or emergency and get some help
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    i agree with previous responders.You can't wait for your parents to help,it seems like they will not.Didn't you have a therapy appt? That has changed?Please heed the advice of people this point I don't feel comfortable offering specific advice but I do think you need to take control of your life.You want help,that is clear,or you wouldn't post here.That is a great sign.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I agree with Mary. Can you call a crisis line or get to the emergency room? People have been cruel to you, and you don't deserve that.

    In the meantime, I hope you stay and talk to us. If you ever feel like talking or just need a friend, you can PM me anytime.

    And PLEASE eat something!!!!!
  7. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I have to agree with Mary and WC.

    One thing I am a firm believer in is that when we get to that point where we want to end it, we are not thinking straight.

    There is help out there and your life can and will get better, if you just seek it.

    Read the thread in my signature. And then immediately afterwards, you should call 911 or get to an ER or something.
  8. kfcheong

    kfcheong Member

    You seem to have dreams in the past and that was what kept you going. You feel that it is unhealthy for you to stay in the house 24/7. It seems like being coped up in the house has affected you quite a lot.

    You were telling me that you wished to go to someplace new and start afresh. If you were to decide not to die today, wat wld you do to achieve that goal?
  9. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    I had a conversation with my mum just now and damn she's so ignorant about my situation. All she said was that I should just snap out of it instantly and quit whining and she's not going to do anything about my problems. She said that she "thinks" that I don't have a problem, they all just excuses. I stormed off the room, go into the washroom and started slashing myself with the razor....

    Now I am in bloody pain and unsure what to do with my life. I can't work nor study with my current situation. All she did was telling me to go back to work as early as today!! What's wrong with her, I blame her for being stupid.
  10. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Ugh, I'm really sorry she reacted that way. It's obvious she doesn't have a clue; if she did, she'd know that you can't just "snap out of it." It doesn't work that way.
  11. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    are you taking care of those cuts? They need to be washed and sterilized.Bandaged.Your mother is unable to cope with your issues but we are..and others out there would be,too.Your mother isn't stupid,she is just incapable of is just too much for her.It isn't fair for you I know.You need to eventually move away from her.What happened with therapy?Meds?
  12. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    I am getting none (Meds&Therapy) because my parents don't believe in them. All they think is I could just "snap out of it" from my problems.... that's the hard part.
  13. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    ugh.:sad: If you are desperate to save your life and get help and your parents will not 9-11 and tell them your are suicidal and have no help?This is an option for anyone.That is all I know of besides going to an ER and show them your cuts and tell them you are acutely suicidal.Your parents are not the deciders of if you should get help or not...keep this in mind if you get extremely concerned for your safety.You could get committed if you show an ER your cuts consider could be a positive is abuse on the part of your parents.Are you over 18? I cannot recall.
  14. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope you're taking care of the cuts!!

    Don't let your parents stop you from getting help. You deserve help. Maybe they don't understand what you're going through, but the people here do, and we'll do whatever we can to help you get through.
  15. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    I am above 18. But the thing is, I don't have any money to cover the healthcare cost.... :(
  16. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member


    It's 3.37am right now and I can't sleep.
  17. kfcheong

    kfcheong Member

    Hi siberian,

    It must be very terrible for you that your mum doesn't believe you. You somehow wished that there was something you could do to change your current situation. Is that right?
  18. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    Of course! :eek:hmy:
  19. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Not being able to sleep sucks. I've been there plenty of times. Hope you eventually got some sleep.
  20. siberianhusky6315

    siberianhusky6315 Well-Known Member

    I basically stayed up all night :sad:

    Not sure how to live my life. I was thinking of drowning myself in the bathtub while really really drunk because it's in-doors and I don't feel like going out of the house ever!

    Wish my parents could help me in my current situation but they decided to ignore my problems, telling me to "snap out of it". Dad even ignored me today while I try to approach him.
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