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confirmed relationships...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by The Scream, Apr 29, 2009.

  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    how do you feel about them?
    do you need to have things confirmed?
    i never had a relation ship but i wouldn't like to be in a confirmed relationship... im kinda afraid people put much less effort in a relationship with someone once it's confirmed...
    there should be no need to get it confirmed, when you feel it's right, it should be right...
    i feel like relationships became more promised words than promised feelings lately...
    might be confusing, im not really good in explaining stuff, sorry :tongue:
  2. Entoloma43

    Entoloma43 Well-Known Member

    A confirmed relationship, meaning, both parties verbally agreed they are in a relationship and are exclusive to each other?

    If so, I support this idea. Humans can be complicated, and people can't read each others minds. One person may think they are in a committed relationship, while the other person may feel something different. When it's both confirmed, there are no worries about this.

    Plus, if it's not confirmed, one person could cheat and have a valid excuse, that they didn't know they were even in a relationship and/or didn't know it was an exclusive one.

    In an ideal relationship, it would already feel right for both people, and confirming wouldn't really mean to much at all, since both people already felt this way - it may just remove any doubts that may have existed previously. [Since no one can read minds]

    If this is the case, I don't think it was a good relationship to begin with.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2009
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a confirmed relationship. or some may call it ''exclusive''.

    the important thing is that both people want the same thing.

    dating is a sifting and a 'trying out'. . .of roles and people. but once you both know you want to be together, there comes the question of whether or not you date other people.

    leaving this to guesswork or assumption is not a good idea - in my opinion. i like this issue to be crystal clear, no matter whether its decided we have an open relationship, or a committed exclusive relationship.

    whether or not you choose an exclusive relationship, is personal preference. some people do not like to be 'tied down'. for me, i prefer exclusivity. and as for people contributing less to the relationship once it becomes 'serious', or 'exclusive', that often happens when one takes the other for granted. you reach a comfort zone where you feel like you don't have to impress the other to get them to like you.

    personally, i think relationships would function better if we always treated our loved one like we did at the very beginning, and never take them for granted.

    thanks for posing the interesting topic :smile:
  4. Lethal Photography

    Lethal Photography Well-Known Member

    My last boyfriend, the first two months after I kissed him, we decided that long-distance relationships were horrible, so we wouldn't date, but we kept kissing. After the two months, we realized that whatever we called it, we pretty much were dating. So we started calling it that. Nothing I noticed changed because of it. To address the commitment issue, I had another boyfriend(who we agreed we were dating from the start). We had decided to have an open relationship, and I couldn't stand it. I eventually broke up with him over it, because even though I wasn't in love with him, it hurt when he talked about the other girls he was crushing on. Even though I knew nothing had happened(one was happily married, the other a lesbian), it kept eating away at me.
  5. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    i had an amazing relationship, my best friend in the whole world,,, we had been together since i was 13, ,
    we got married, it took 3 months for the first of the shit and although it took about 8 years for cracks to realy show, they did, eventually.
    12 years after getting married i am getting divorced, ill never get married again as it dulled the relationship, made us complacent of eachother.
    Dont do it, youl loose your best friend and your lover and gain a sparing partner
  6. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I've always felt like marriage was this confirmation that this person wants to be with you for ever. You're standing up in front of your family and friends and saying "I am dedicating myself to you forever. I promise to love you forever and I am saying that I am yours"
    But as time has gone on, I'm thinking less and less like that.

    My neighbours have been together for 8 years, they aren't engaged, they aren't married, but they both have a tattoo of each others name and a symbol on the hands to show their dedication.
    Surely that is enough? There's your symbol right there. Right?