Conflict. Sorry

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_child, Jul 31, 2007.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I'm just so confused at the moment, there's constent conflict in my head.

    the state of my mind
    I don't expect anyone to understand
    the way I care for myself
    its not shocking I'm left of the shelf

    My mind is a maze, unsure which way to go
    one way could help me, but its slow
    one way takes me to the road of hell
    and the last way tells me to rebel.

    The fights within my mind
    leave me feeling confined
    west side argues its time to go
    south side says why not try to grow

    west side shouts it was ur fault
    south sides scresms it was assult
    west side tells me I'm to blame
    south side tells me Its not my shame

    West side tells me to cut
    south sides tells me to kick it in in the butt.
    West side screams ur have to be hurt
    South side shouts ur not dirt

    West side whispers let me win
    south side whispers it wasn't ur sin.
    West side bellows u never said no
    South side bellows u would have received a blow

    West side screams you have no friends
    South side screams its ur defends
    West side screams ur a freak
    South side screams ur not u find it difficult to speak

    West side shouts no1 will miss you
    south side shouts u will get through
    West side shouts no1 will notice ur not around
    south side shouts ur hurting deep down.

    West side shouts shut up southside
    southside whispers, I tried but was denied.

    i'm sorry that I can't talk in sentances, I'm told that life can be great but you have to want it to me I wanted life to be great, I wanted to be free, I wanted to feel, I wanted to like who I was, I wanted to break the chains that hold so tight. But inside has just died, I'm breathing but not living, i'm walking but not feeling...I didn't wake up one morning and say today I will di*, yes I have taken an overdose on impulse but the thoughts were there before, when you don't go a day without thinking that lifes too big to deal with, the lonelyness is to lonely, the damage is unrepairable, life wasn't meant to be.
  2. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    shush little one and close ur eyes
    ur find peace on the otherside
    no more pain, no more frights
    you be more then alright
    nana will love you, she will hold u tight
    for me and u need we have to part.
    you can play with the other ones
    but tonight we have to say they won.
    so close ur eyes little one, cause tonite
    we say goodbye and goodnite.

    in the skies above we fly,
    free from pain trouble and strife
    no more fights, no wonders of why
    no more turning a complete blind eye.
    no more doubting, no more fights
    free from such those long long nites.

    thru heaven gates we will pass
    forgetting everything from the past
    the angels smile as u walk through
    holding ur hand and guiding you.
    teaching u about love and care
    never again will anyone stare
    you feel the feeling u never felt before
    not at least ur no one's whore.

    *thanks to those that hurt and abused me, u stole my childhood, my teenager years, most of my 20's, but u won't have a change to hurt me anymore as I can't take anymore, my body and mind can't take anymore*

    *You killed the child when u first took her, u left me with an empty shell, the only way to be free from this hell, is to do the only choice I'm allowed, the only choice there is, the only choice that can't be taken away, the choice to end my life, end this pain.*

  3. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    Oh sweetie I am so sorry that your feeling this down. Remember I am here for you to talk to and so are others. I wish I had the words to make all of your pain go away but I do not. The only thing I got to offer you is my shoulder to lean on, my ear to listen to you and my heart so that you know that your loved. Take care sweetie and I love you. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss
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