Let me start out with the fact that I have never thought of my parents as abusive. Yet, the older I become the more uncomfortable I am with the way my dad acts. I'm 23 now and still living at home because I cant afford to live alone. At the start of the pandemic, my dad essentially took control over my entire life and demanded that I act in certain ways. While I'm sure he meant well and wanted to protect me, he said some things and acted in ways that I am not really capable of forgiving him for.
He would sit me down in a chair and yell at me for almost 3 hours every night for about 2 weeks because I wanted to return to work and help people (I work in a hospital and was planning of moving in with my sister so they would be safe). He moved us 40 minutes out of the city so that we wouldn't be as exposed to the virus (effectively shutting me off from my friends and boyfriend - even for outdoor distanced meetings). He gave me almost no privacy while I was trying to cope with this. I didn't have access to a vehicle so I was essentially just stranded, getting yelled at until I promised I would take a stress leave from work for a month to see how everything went. My coworkers still are upset with me for doing this, and bring it up occasionally that I didn't work the beginning of the pandemic and let them down.
I have PTSD from a relationship which largely stems from verbal, sexual and physical abuse which I endured for about half a year. I was making good progress in therapy before this, and now I am unable to cope on a day to day basis and often find myself crying randomly or incapable of feeling joy. I don't know how much of this is my past experiences being triggered or legitimate relationship dysfunction between my dad and I.
I have always really loved and respected him, but he has always had a temper and been quick to do things his way (or no way at all). Since this has happened I have had time to reflect on the past and I've noticed that he throws large tantrums like this every time he doesn't get his way until we yeild to him and show him respect in what he thinks is the correct way to do things.
I don't know how to feel about all of this, but the main emotion I would guess would be desperately depressed at this point.
He would sit me down in a chair and yell at me for almost 3 hours every night for about 2 weeks because I wanted to return to work and help people (I work in a hospital and was planning of moving in with my sister so they would be safe). He moved us 40 minutes out of the city so that we wouldn't be as exposed to the virus (effectively shutting me off from my friends and boyfriend - even for outdoor distanced meetings). He gave me almost no privacy while I was trying to cope with this. I didn't have access to a vehicle so I was essentially just stranded, getting yelled at until I promised I would take a stress leave from work for a month to see how everything went. My coworkers still are upset with me for doing this, and bring it up occasionally that I didn't work the beginning of the pandemic and let them down.
I have PTSD from a relationship which largely stems from verbal, sexual and physical abuse which I endured for about half a year. I was making good progress in therapy before this, and now I am unable to cope on a day to day basis and often find myself crying randomly or incapable of feeling joy. I don't know how much of this is my past experiences being triggered or legitimate relationship dysfunction between my dad and I.
I have always really loved and respected him, but he has always had a temper and been quick to do things his way (or no way at all). Since this has happened I have had time to reflect on the past and I've noticed that he throws large tantrums like this every time he doesn't get his way until we yeild to him and show him respect in what he thinks is the correct way to do things.
I don't know how to feel about all of this, but the main emotion I would guess would be desperately depressed at this point.
