not sure what im getting myself into here... i have a sinking feeling that being a part of this is going to cause problems in my life. i wanna be here, help and be helped but i have a life that wont quite agree w/ all this. and by life i mean bf. dont get me wrong, hes not insensitive or anything, hes really wonderful and he tries to be supportive. i love him to death but im scared of telling him about this and what im doing here coz part of me thinks he wont understand or accept it, especially if it takes my attention away from him. i know he can be insecure and jealous although he wont admit it. i get away w/ it at work but if im on at home there are 101 questions about what im doing and who im talking to. i dont want to drive him away by lying or avoiding the subject. basically im scared and maybe embarassed. i just cant tell him! he knows how im feeling at the moment, thats not a secret but he has previously had a suicidal gf and he doesnt have anything good to say about it. he sees me as a stable level headed person which i usually am, we have even spoken about suicide but he knows i could not go thru w/ it, i think for him its just the 'stigma' attached to being here, like maybe i am falling off my rocker or what am i doing here coz i dont belong here. im so confused. i dont want to cause any problems either way.