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Im ashamed to even post here (cause I haven't got a traumatic life or something like that) Im just really really confuged, I feel like I want to die, everything seems so empty in my life. It feels like Im all alone, I do have friends and family, but it just feels like they don't want me, that is the thing that I don't understand, is it because they really don't want me, or because I just feel like they don't need me.

Im at a point that I hate myself SO bad, I cant even look at myself.
Damn it feels so stupid. I have already made the decission that I want to die, it's just that I can't do this to my family. I wrote several "goodbey" letters but trew all of them away, I also thought about how it's going to happen.

I just can't go through another Christmas and newyears eve, surrounded by all these happy people and feeling do damn empty and sad. I hate these kind of days.

Im sorry this all may sound stupid and pathetic or wathever, it is just how I feel. I just wanted to tell some people how I feel,

Sorry for my bad english Im not from an english speaking country
I want to say :welcome: to the forum first. Then I would like to let you know that your life does not have to have had traumatic things happen for you to feel as you do. Many people have these feelings and thoughts and have not had terrible experiences to cause them. You are not out of place for feeling this way. It sounds as if you may have some depression going on. This makes us feel bad about ourselves, about life in general. Depression causes us to think thoughts that aren't true. We twist things around to fit our feelings. We are unable to see the good in things. Others tell us it is there, but we don't, or can't, believe them. Have you sought any counselling for your feelings? Maybe you should explore this and see if it helps you any.

Oh and about your English :) Everything is fine. I can understand you with no difficulties at all. You do well :) Thank you for taking the time to share with us how you feel. I hope you are able to get the support you need. Take care okay? :hug:
Thanks for your sweet reply :smile:
I did thought about getting help, I went to my doctor more than a year ago, I still regret that. I just don't like talking about myself I just wanted them to give me some pills that would make me feel better. Of course they didn't do that:wink: , so I stopped with "counseling".

Im glad my english is okay :wink:


Staff Alumni
Your english is fine ;) Ya i hate celebration days as well, its the busiest time of year for mental health services I can tell you that. Everyone starts to feel isolated and lonely, and all these happy people..grrr they can be annoying! :)

Its not stupid or pathetic to feel this way, a LOT of people feel that way.

Medication might help your problems, but to get that you need to come out with everything to a doctor..put aside your reservations for a moment, and just spit everything out.

I wish you the best of luck seeking help with it.
oh wow how i can so relate. this is someone here who cannot stand the holidays. they are definately one of the worst times of the year for me. so much so i haven't even been able to do them for the last two years. i mean it has gotten really really bad for me.
i would really just like to encourage you to try to get some help. i know, as many others do too, it is anything but easy to do. unfortunately the things we need most in life sometimes we really need to work for. it will be worth it in the long run and that first step will have seemed like it wasn't as big of a deal as it might have in the beginning. but you can do that i would have to say you can probably do anything. good luck to ya and i hope you find the help that you are looking for.
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