I don't know where to begin this is my first time on a forum. Well i have been in a relationship for 9yrs now i made so many mistakes over and over again in the 9yrs although we are still together and i love him with all my heart unconditionally. I just feel like no matter what i do to make it to him it will never be good enough because he always thinks i'm lying to him when i'm telling him the truth and it hurts so much and having to deal with everything else in my life on top of having no friends and caring for our child with no time to myself. I have been suicidal for the last 15yrs off and on but for the last 6yrs it's been very constant like thats all i can think about and the thought of him leaving me is hurting he is the only person i can talk to my best friend. I don't know what to do anymore.