Recently I've been diagnosed with OCD and Bipolar disorder. I feel like I'm not in control of my emotions anymore. Just the other day I was helping a really hot guy stretch in Tae Kwon Do, and my hands were against his muscles and I decided to enjoy feeling them or something. It felt like it was groping without groping. Another time I was helping a guy stretch yesterday and I got really turned on and I noticed that my hand was starting to grasp his leg, or i had the passing thought to do it or something like that. Either way my hand started to grasp his leg as I was helping him stretch and I made it stop, but then after it stopped it started up again. And then I made it stop. It was like my hand would go through 1 percent of the motion and it would stop each time. I think it happened 3 times total. I was molested growing up and for years I've always thought about killing the people who wronged me. Now I feel like I've entered the same club as them and I don't know why I have any reason to live.