Confused and lost

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Articink, Sep 14, 2016.

  1. Articink

    Articink New Member

    I don't know where to start and I feel pathetic that I feel this way. I found this website because it did pop up when I was looking for painless way to die. I find what I'm going through really hard and frustrating at the same time...a big part of me has no desire to be alive and I feel like it's the best option and at the same time I'm the bread winer in my family so I think of how unfair it would be on them which makes it even more hard because there's an inner conflict that I have. Death feels for me right now like a good option, just to end it all but I have to live for the sake of others and I'm not coping. I did get professional help but that didn't last too long.
  2. Few years ago, I was just living for the sake of others and it was really painful. But I loved them so much that I wouldn't be able to leave them with the pain. After years of that I learned that they have so much faith in my strength that of I'll go away they'll follow me and I don't really want that to happen to them. So with time I learned that u need to love the smallest things in your life. Even if it's just ice cubes. I know it's hard. But try to have in mind that the little things r the most important. Just look around and spot something u just simply enjoy interacting with. I know it's sounds stupid but please try it. It might help.
    SillyOldBear likes this.
  3. Articink

    Articink New Member

    Thanks,what I struggle with is trying to tell them but the more I try the worse it gets. I have this fear of impending doom, I get paranoid so easily when I think they know that I'm experiencing pain and it's getting to a point where the pain is starting to outweigh all else
  4. Maybe u should only tell one person at first? The one u feel that would understand the most and will give the most help? Don't worry, everyone experiences pain, it's normal so I don't think u should be worried about anyone finding out. I think if they would know you would just get help from them.
  5. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere SF Pro SF Supporter

    What are your goals short term and long term?

    Have you talked to your primary care doctor about your feelings?