Confused and terrified

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by HannahPinky, May 20, 2015.

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  1. HannahPinky

    HannahPinky New Member

    Hi, My name is Hannah. I have just attacked my wonderful boyfriend, hitting punching pulling. its his 25th birthday today i couldnt go to the pub with him to celebrate with his friends as i cant go to pubs i have eating disorder and psychological issues with attractive girls. He ignored my calls I convinced myself he found someone else got so upset was shaking heart pumping overdrive he walks in the door completely drunk i saw red didnt know what i was doing could not control myslf before i knew it he was grabbing me and pushing n pulling me away. He grabbed my face and held my wrists dragged me to the bed told me to go to bed. I think he is going to kick me out tomorow morning. I<mod edit - methods> Is it better to of known complete love and end it all that watch him walk away breaking my heart soul n body. I am terrified. I take citalopram they do nothing. beat eating disorder clinic hasn't got back to me. I know up or take laxatives am addicted to monster energy drinks i hit punch myself cry all the time. I have no fight left in me. someone help please i cant face another day of ruining his life
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2015
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Call a crisis line for your country or area or go to the emergency at hospital if you cannot get yourself under any control at all. That is what these places are for- to help when in a crisis that you can no longer control. So far as real love and ending it- i ti is better if you let yourself get well enough to know what true and real love is at least once before ending it- because what you are feeling that makes you do these things is strong emotion but is absolutely not love. Getting effective help with mental disorders is a fight all by itself but it is a fight worth having to get yourself so that these things do not rule your life and you can have a chance at happiness and love. Whether that is with this boyfriend and now or somebody else an later really does not matter but the difference will be clear when you feel love instead of the infatuation /jealousy/and making you crazy things that you are describing. Go get yourself help and as you help yourself th erest can can be sorted out. If you cannot even think clearly you are not going to solve any of your problems, so getting to a certain level of stability needs to be the first priority. Clearly citalpram or citalpram alone is not doing it so go to emergency or make an appoint and try other things until you find something that is effective. While Drs work on that, you can start working on better choices yourself other than hyper caffeinated drinks that cause even more instability which is in fact a choice.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    - Ben
     
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