Confused and Upset.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by saraa, May 2, 2009.

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  1. saraa

    saraa Member

    Hi, This is my first post on this forum.. Im sorry if i posted this in the wrong place!

    I have anxiety and i used to have a fear of leaving the house, but i am over that now but still have abit of anxiety. I have been to the psych ward about 5 times for anxiety, to help me get back to school.

    - Is it wrong to LIKE the psych ward? I actually feel safe there.
    I think i need to go back but my mum is a nurse at the hospital, and she hates how they treated my situation as they thought i was stubborn. She said she would never ever let me go back there. I see a private psychologist and am not with CAMHS anymore (child and adolescent mental health services)

    I want to die, everything bad happens to me, not my friends who have perfect lives, everything bad happens to pretty much me. I have a low pain threshold and could probably never come to killing myself. I have cut before to ease pain, but the scars make me never want to do it again.

    Sorry if this post is abit random.. im just pretty confused.
    Also i think i hate my father. When it was time for me to go to the psych ward for the first time, i was so terrified and wouldnt budge, so my father literally tried to DRAG me downstairs to get to the car. i think i am traumatised by that because i can never ever EVER forgive him for that.

    Im so confused. I just want life back to the way it used to be. I was a fit, happy 15 year old with heaps of friends and i was bullied. Now i am slightly unfit, get bullied alot and only have like 2 circles of friends. One group from the school i just left afew days ago, and one group that are the nicest people ever that i actually met in the psych ward.

    Honestly, i think about hurting or killing myself alot. I have wanted to OD many times but my mum who i have a close relationship with would never forgive me and blame it on my best friend who is from the psych ward.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    No, it's not wrong to like the psych ward. I've talked to several people who felt safe there and liked the stability it provided.

    If you think going back there would help you, can you try to reason with your mom and see what she says?

    I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now!! We're here whenever you feel like talking.
  3. saraa

    saraa Member

    Thanks for replying wildcherry..
    I do think it would help me, im experiencing anxiety in general and at my new work.
    My mum would seriously never let me back there, and even if she did, i dont think the psych ward would take me, because they always said im not at suicide risk or anything.
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