I don't know what is going on. Yes, there have been important dates to me today and the last couple of days also. Is that what has triggered my subconscious to go play games with me? I'm uber anxious. I don't feel like I'm here, which is odd to explain. Dissociation most likely. Being aware but not fully aware of what I'm doing, where I'm going or why. I'm having something similar to intrusive thoughts at night. They are disturbing images and thoughts. I feel like I can't breath, like I'm going to explode. Very wound up. I don't know what to do. I want to cry but I can't. I'm scared to start maybe. It seems im going backwards. I dont know anymore.