confused but complete

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iggyboy, Jan 17, 2007.

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  1. iggyboy

    iggyboy New Member

    i'm 17 and just finished highschool here in Oz. you go through school knowing wat to expect and you only really plan for the immediate future, you know that if you don't finish that legal assignment your going to get a detention or if your caught cheating consequences follow. i did think about my future while in year 12 and had great expectations for the rest of my life i knew i wanted to live life to the full and not miss a beat. but now after the parties and schoolies my mind is blank my life is blank, Is this the end of my life, have i completed everything i needed to do in life, is this where my life should stop/conclude.
    in school i was happy apart from that point in year 10 where i did strongly comtemplate ending my life and 'let it all out' to the school counsellor, just like i'm 'letting it all out' in this forum to the world and perhaps to fellow classmates, just typing wat i feel has calmed me down somewhat.

    the depressive state only really started when my acne got really bad to the point where it looked like i had 2nd degree burns it was and still is horrible and has totally ruined my life and would like to warn those out there to seek help immediately. for those of you who have never had there face treated for acne, it is horrible, everyweek i take anti-biotics, then the nurse actually pierces the skin with a needle then squeezes with all her might then sandblasts the face, it is the most intense pain and by the end you'll want to either cry or punch em in the face or both. god glad i got that out of my system

    at the moment i feel empty/blank.
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yeah I know what you mean. For me I only saw College at the end of the tunnel. After that I drew a blank. And the only reason was because I did not know what I wanted to do for a career. That is what screwed me over. I did not see anything beyond work and school. But soon I did, I saw my own house my own car. I saw a childless existence I saw myself playing and enjoying video games and anime on a large high definition TV. I started seeing the luxary part of my life. Slowly I wanted to live it was weird.

    High school was a waste for me. Really when you think about it High school is to teach you how to socialize in the real world. College is there to teach you stuff for your career. Like I said High school was a waste for me. I was very shy and did not socialize, mainly because I went to school with a great many bullies from my past.

    But enough about me. This whole planning 10 years into the future is valid but overall it is crap. It is good to have an idea of where you are going. But in the end it is bad to just run walk straight to that point. So at least get through college. And walk down that path. Do the minimum to keep you on track towards your desired profession. Do not be afraid of taking weird side paths. Because remember "In the end the Journey is more important than where you started or where you ended".

    And just so you know that I am not spewing crap up until about 3 months ago I was planning on killing myself after I graduated college. Which will come in this may. I am trying to tell you to just see what happens even if you just go with the flow.
  3. willgethere

    willgethere Well-Known Member


    I am sorry you are going through all the pain with facial acne.

    I am from the uk so not 100% sure what happens over ther in Oz. Is there any further studing that you would like to go onto?

    Have you thougth what you would like to aim towards as a career? Maybe if it is possible to continue to study then inbetween times do some voluntry work inline with the sort of career tthat would motivate you, you never know, it could turn into a job and the feeling that you are doing good.
  4. iggyboy

    iggyboy New Member

    yea i have been offered a place a university and at the same time an apprenticeship at a hotel, but feeling of uncertainty is whats holding me back
  5. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Hi Iggy,try not to be so hard on yourself because you're unsure about what to do in terms of studying for your's quite normal for one to feel rather uncertain about what to do when they finish school,although you think that you should know by now many people will enter further tertiary study Uni,Tafe,college,RMIT etc and end up pulling out of their courses for a variety of reasons.
    Is there something you've always had a strong passion in doing more than other thing's?In term's of your acne I'm really sorry about that I did have a problem with acne at school not to the most serious extent but enough to that I experimented with everything from Medication's to creams to seeing a Doctor etc.
    If you like to talk you can add me to msn I do understand how you feel.

    P.S I live in Oz also.:smile:
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