confused feelings

[famouslastwordsx]

I keep getting very confusing feelings. It's a feeling of not wanting to go on, but it's with a feeling of well I'd never commit suicide. But. Is this weird? What is it? Why am I so...desperate to do it? I reallly want to, but I think I'm too scared. But if i don't do it I'm going to be bullied and unhappy for the rest of my life............

 

[kath]

Hi and welcome to the forum.i understand what you are saying.i used to be totally like that.im sorry your feeling so bad.

i used to think that id always think about suicide but would never ever attempt it let alone complete it cos i was too scared.i thought id think aobut it but id never ever ever do ot attempt it.

Not trying to take awaqy from how terrible that place you are in now is and it is very very terrible but i wish i was still scared now in that way [i am still scared about some things im going through but it is different now.]

im sorry but i hope you hang on to your fear.i think it could serve you well.Keep you safe.Keep you with us.Dont let go of that fear cos once yolu do that it can be a long slippery slope........

Well done for being brave enough to post.i hope you stick around.Feel free to lean on us and if you ever want to talk privately feel free to PM [private message] me anytime - it would always be good to hear from you.

Take care and best wishes for now
kath

 

[famouslastwordsx]

Thank you for your response, I was so scared I'd look weird. I felt as though I seemed fake as others have such worse problems. I am holding on to the fear for now...I just dont know how NOT to lose grasp of it. Things are only getting worse right now..sigh!
xx