I've been having suicidal thoughts for months now, maybe a year, and I don't know what to do about it. I know the standard, and probably good, advice is to "talk to someone," but if I talk to someone then it's just a cry for help and I'm not serious about it. That's how I feel anyway. I just don't see my life improving, at all. I've been in love with someone I can't have for the past 11 years, my job is unfulfilling, my marriage is stagnant and boring. I don't see the next one, ten, twenty years as being anything to look forward to. Yes, there could be a corner to turn, and yes, things might get better, but I don't have hope anymore. I don't feel that I'm contributing to society at all. The main reason I hesitate is because of my family. Both of my parents, who love me, are still alive and it would kill them if I died, esp by my own hand. I don't see how I could possibly do that to them. I keep telling myself that after they are gone, I'll be free to do as I choose, but in the meantime I'm miserable. My more reasonable plan is to divorce and move elsewhere, so at least I might find a new start and I'd have to deal with change instead of being stuck, but I still don't think I'll be happy. I don't hate life, I just hate *my* life.