I would either like to sleep most of the time or not be alive. I cannot think of anything about my life that makes it worth living while I'm awake. Does anyone have strategies for preventing nightmares when sleeping? Also, I can't seem to understand that anyone cares about me. I feel like my psychological state is spiraling downward and I am watching out in case I need hospitalization soon. Another option would be outpatient therapy, which I have done before, post hospitalization. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have been permanently banned from chat. Fighting out of depression doesn't seem to be an option. Perplexed is the only way I feel. I want to shelter myself from the world, because I get criticized and paranoid whenever I confront it. Basketball kept me stable, and I was playing every day for weeks until I broke my thumb during a game. Much love to you all.