more vents since i forgot to read the rules so my first one will probably not even exist.. my bad i feel alone when there are many around me. why? they care for me and i definitely know they know i exist. and yet... its like i cant comprehend them. death avoids me at all costs. i havent tried to die but all the times i have died, it seems that death herself rejects me. ive felt her embrace and then she throws me away, back into the arms of life. i must admit, life has been kind to me. but alas, she is not the one i seek. she is my mistress because death accepts me not. i yearn for death but life clutches at me each time i leave. life is a needy mistress and cruel sometimes. she is fun, but death is the one i want pain.. so much pain. i hurt myself naught, and yet it seems to be all i feel. i feel no joy, no sadness, no lust, just pain. i realize that yes, i have multiple personalities. they are usually well mannered but love to play tricks. its what happens when youve melded all of them together. they seem like they are not my thoughts, but alas, they are. its made for some interesting... happenings ive had in my short life.