I've forgotten my password and I'm just really tired... Okay, so onto the subject of why I'm posting. I'm literley stressed out, and frustrated, about everything. My schooling, it's for people with special needs, it's like, the only school that can be found for me at the moment, and if I don't go, I'll loose my place and I won't have an education, which means no career, no money, no house, no future, nothing. I'm stressing out because I don't want to go. It's residential for me at the moment and I hate it. I really do. I just want to go day, which can be arranged for me to do in September, but until then, I've got to go as a resident. I hate it. I so do. I cry everynight their, I've tried to kill myself numerous times in there already just to try and escape. Thing is, if I don't go, I'll have no future. I am not actually bothered. I just want to... I don't know anymore. I dunno what to do. I so don't. It's like, ARGHHHHHH. I just want to die at the moment, and school is top of my list for most stressful things going on. I don't want to go but if I don't, I've no future anyway. But I already don't because of all this shit that's going on and I just don't know what to do, I really don't. I have been plotting a suicide plan for a few weeks now, only recently has it got in action, and I'm so messed up. I just, I either go to school and ruin the plan, or stay at home, get on with the plan, and do the plan, then die. Or, I go to school, I bite the dust and just get on with it and give it a shot and just go with it until Septemeber. But it still doesn't help anything, I'll still be suicidal. Recently I've been really obsessed with my weight, I want to get down to... a certain amount which'd make my BMI underweight, but just having that number makes me feel safe, so I've been exercising alot, starving and more exercising. I just urghh.. What to do? What to fucking do?! Blah. Just so you know, I'm Sycotic_Sarah, now I bet I'll get replies saying 'just go and die, you're not worthy of life'.