Confused

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by jazzmeister, Mar 30, 2014.

  1. jazzmeister

    jazzmeister Active Member

    Hey guys. Just need an opinion on some things.

    You sees, my friends and coworkers have been pushing me to date or have sex with a girl already since I am already 24 and have not entered into a romantic or intimate relationship with someone yet. I grew up being taught by my parents to prepare for the future first like complete my studies, earn money for a wedding and house for my future family, etc., before I enter into a relationship. I have completed my studies but still working on the other stuff. I understand why I am being pushed to go into a relationship since I am not getting any younger and I am still single. The problem is, having not thought about going into a relationship for a long time, I don't know how to go about it. Is it weird and/or wrong to have prioritized those things first before going into a relationship?

    Next is somewhat related to the first problem. I'm not quite sure about my orientation. I've had some crushes on girls but I have attracted to some guys as well. The guys I am attracted to older than me and either are the nice guy archetype or gym fit kind of guy. I don't know if this makes me a bisexual or gay or whatever because somehow aside from a romantic view on the attraction, I'm getting the feeling of something else. When I was younger and even sometimes today, my older brother and I are in a rocky relationship (back in school, he asked me to act like we don't know each other, we fought a lot, he teased me a lot). Somehow, I feel like I am looking for the feeling of a proper older brother from the guys I am attracted to. The feel of hanging out with me, protecting me, and such. What do you guys think? Is it just a big brother complex type thing or a same sex romantic attraction thing?

    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    First i do not think it is wrong to prioritize you education and studies that is what will get you far in life You are still you the relationships will come and with regard to you sexual preferance that too will show itself it time It may be just you want a big brother so don't go into any relationship to quickly take it slow and don't pressured by anyone ok hugs
     
  3. Kairo

    Kairo Well-Known Member

    Hi jazzmeister,
    I don't think it's wrong or strange for you to have prioritized education/financial stability over relationships at all. It was probably a great decision in many ways. The only setback to having doing that appears to be that you haven't had much experience with dating, or much of a chance to figure out how you feel regarding your orientation and such.
    The second question you asked can really only be answered by yourself, I think...and perhaps the way to find out is to just let yourself ask those questions now. Maybe you could start thinking about how you picture yourself in the future, and who you picture yourself with. What might make you happy? And what do you need to find out about yourself in order to feel at ease?
    maybe dating could help you figure things out, but only if you want to...I hope you don't feel too pressured by people around you, because that would not be a comfortable environment to start in. You should just do what feels ok, and at your own pace.
    All of this might be really dumb or pointless advice lol. I know I maybe shouldn't be talking..since I have 0 experience dating, and I am a little confused myself.
    But I guess the main thing is to try and be open to figuring yourself out. Be it through dating or something like therapy if you think.

    I wish you the best anyway :)