Confused

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Krayon, May 17, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Krayon

    Krayon Member

    I am currently in a same sex relationship which was fine right up until about a month ago when my mum told me that my whole family are wondering why im with the girl im with. they don't think we are well suited. We have been together 14 months and she is really clingy but I was coping ok with things but ever since my family said that we have been arguing a lot more. I have relapsed in my mental health. I have gone back to self harming which I managed to stop for 7 months and now I cant seem to get back on track and to be honest im not sure if I do want to be stable just now. I feel its my only way to vent how I feel at the moment over how confused I am.

    She is really clingy and refuses to do things she wants to do just because I wont do it such as go to bed if shes really tired but Im not and want to stay downstairs. I feel really bad when she starts crying and I just sit there blank. I don't get the urge to comfort her or wipe away her tears, which surprises me and kinda upsets me because id hate for someone to sit and watch me cry while they sat there blank and unable to comfort me. This has brought me to the conclusion that she deserves to be with someone better. She says she doesn't want anyone else she just wants me but I just cant make up my mind anymore if I should be with her if I cant comfort her when shes upset.

    sorry that might be a jumble but im at the stage now where im starting to think harming is actually a good thing and mibbe harming will make her walk away from me so I don't have to make the decision by myself.
     
  2. NickA8326

    NickA8326 Active Member

    I think that you don't have a connection with her inside you, and you can't fix it because you've been with her all this time, she has the connection to you, but you still can't feel it. You're your own unique person, so I don't really understand your concept of her "finding someone better", because everyone has their own tastes and is different, and simply not feeling romantic feelings towards someone has nothing to do with you being a bad person. I think that you should not be with her because you deserve to be with someone that you connect to just as strongly as they connect to you.
     
  3. Krayon

    Krayon Member

    not sure what you mean nick but things are a lot better today. I have BPD and found myself at a low stage and dissociating. I barely remember any of the weekend. We went to the cinema today and I feel a bit better about things.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.