First off, I feel somewhat odd posting this, but sadly have no one in my life I feel like I can talk to about this. So Im gonna talk about it to a bunch of strangers over the internet. I dont know how to start off but Im just gonna say that I am completely fed up with life. Why? because its such a big dead end...at least for me. Im 19 graduated at 17, planned out big things for myself. I planned to be at least in college now. You see I went through a lot of BS in highschool and a scholarship (not a big one, but it was certainly needed) slipped out of my hand by literally .3 points. Ok so I still went to college out of my pocket, a girl i cared for moved aways blah blah blah in short bad things happened. I never drank in highschool or anything..but i figured you know what the hell..i need to have a good time at least sometime. I start to fall off in college and basically wasted money my first year. I learned my lesson and went back and was on top of everything. I was doing great in school then i got sick and had to drop out. In the time that I was sick..I started having extremely suicidal thoughts cause i felt like I would always be stuck in one place. I have a skin disorder called eczema..im sure many of you have heard of it at some point, well, usually people grow out of this thing...for me..it has only gotten worse, so bad to the point where my hands looked like they have been sand papered...i hide my hands from myself just so i dont have to look at them. Thats very depressing for me. So you see..while I was sick...i remember laying in bed..barely having the desire to move and i got up and went to grab a bunch of pills and just took whatever we had down my throat. Then I got sleepy and later woke up and my chest felt like it was caving in. Whenever i would breathe in..the pain was terrible. After that I would just think about suicide and not actually try it...cause that did nothing but hurt a lot. There is a lot in between the spaces i just havent explained entirely and i dont wanna make this into more of a book. But i do have one question...what do you do when you honestly have no desire to live? All i do now is sleep all day..wake up and play games..eat...go back to sleep. I dont even have a job now. I feel like such a waste of space...comments will be appreciated. Thanks.