Confused!?!?!?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by An Agonizing Life, Jul 28, 2007.

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  1. I'm currently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and am taking a mood stabilizer to help cope with the illness. Yet, the efficacy and potency of the medication draws into question, as my opinions about myself are still relatively two-sided. Quite frankly, I can't make heads or tails of who I truly am. So, I can only rely on comments from others to determine my true self.

    Sometimes, my looks are explicitly talked about whenever I attempt to start a conversation with a member of the opposite sex. One time, I jokingly called an acquaintance of mine a bitch (yes, it is hard to comprehend, and yes, I'm an idiot for doing so). She struck back with, "At least I'm not ugly." Yet, this same girl has occasionally flirted with me in the past. Was she just jesting, as the context of the situation suggests, or was there actually some truth behind her insult?

    Also, some of my guy friends have commented about my features. A guy on my baseball team passed by me in the hall and said, "Hey, it's my ugly friend." Again, was he just joking? However, comments of the opposite nature have also risen up. According to my friends, I'm probably the first person of our group to get a girlfriend. I've also looked "pretty good," as put by another friend on the good ole' baseball team.

    I admit, this is a stupid question to ask, since none of you can actually see what I look like. But, are the implications of the above comments as superficial as the comments themselves, or do I actually have something to worry about? Thanks for your time.
     
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