confused

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HiddenMask, Aug 23, 2007.

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  1. HiddenMask

    HiddenMask Member

    After reading this forum i decided to post.

    I am quite young at the age of 15 and have been wanting to meet my maker for quite
    a long time now. I think the only thing that stops me at the moment is the method.
    If i had a method i think i would be gone. I never thought it would be so dam hard.

    Why i want to go is because the future doesnt look bright. I will probaly fail my
    education because i am unable to consentrate at home. i dont know why but i just
    cant do it. And the people who keep saying how education is important do not help
    because it makes me feel even more bad because i think i will fail.

    i have friends but when i am around them i feel as if i dont belong. i think i am
    boring and i think why are they my friends. i think the only reason i have friends is
    because they felt sorry that i had none. I think like i am more of a nuisance than
    a friend.

    The main reason is because i dont like my self and who i am. I cant change myself and
    i cant make my self like my self. I lack totaly confidence and commuinication skills.
    I am lazy and have no concentration. i am underweight weak and many more things.

    After all that who did i try to seek help from>? God but that didnt help because i
    didnt receive any help that way. I still belieave in my religion and in god but in the
    back of my mind i think that religion could just be a way to keep people in there place.

    By that i mean it stops people from murding others and stops bad things from happening
    because it controls masses of people.

    in the past few weeks i was constaly thinking of methods but now i am switching from both
    thinking of methods and staying. I have other problems too but id rather keep them out
    sinc ei dont like talking about them.

    I doubt that anyone will reply but if you do then please dont advise me to contact someone
    in real life because i wont

    you probaly bored of this long post by now. sorry for being my own boring self.

    Edit:

    Also the way i forget prolems is by playing online multiplayer games because i forget about everything else. I am addicted to playing games and cant stop even if theres important things to do. Ruined my eyes already but i keep going. Its like alcohol and makes you forget but it still comes with is addictive quality and life ruining quality.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2007
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    We're all different. But we're also all unique in our own ways. Your not different. I'm sure you have qualities which stand out. Perhaps concentrate on looking for them.
    If you don't like who you are as a person, then try to change your self. The most important thing is that you like yourself and that your comfortable.
     
  3. shadi_saleh

    shadi_saleh Active Member

    Listen, I cannot help you see what is in store for you, but if you die, then you'll be missing out alot.

    I'm 21 years old and in my third year of university. It was a phenomenal effort I had to make to get till here. I've been dealing with depression and psychosis a good chunk of my life. It was hard. It still is hard. But trust me, you can make it. Sometimes I can't help feel bleak about my future, even though I made it so far. I mean I'm taking a lighter course load compared to 'normal' people, it takes longer for me to complete the same tasks others are able to do. It pretty much sucks, there are moments where I feel like a loser and a failure, but I wouldn't dare give up because I want more out of life. I want a better future, and even though I can't see it, I know that one day I'll have satisfaction. I'm planning to apply to a professional school afterwards or slowly work my way towards a pH D.

    The important thing for you to do is get diagnosed and disclose it to your school/college counsellor so they can enrol you into special programs that will give you the support you need to suceed.

    Life gets better later on. Don't give up now. Life awaits you...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 23, 2007
  4. TranceAngel

    TranceAngel Well-Known Member

    hi, your post touches me and i hope you know people here care about you. to me you are not a nuisance and i don't care about you just because you have no friends, i care because you are worth it, no matter how you feel..i know you are worth it. hang in there and feel free to pm or email me. i have big shoulders to lean on if you need.
     
  5. HiddenMask

    HiddenMask Member

    That is something i will not do. I do not live in the US and i doubt they have this sort of thing. Also even if they did i would not take this option.

    Thanks for the replies
     
  6. HiddenMask

    HiddenMask Member

    Im back again to this forum. Since i made my first post i tried to change things and change my self. I made a achievement and thought i was making a recovery. The next day it all changed and i thought it wasnt a achievement. Im back at step one. Suicide


    Can anybody give me advice on how to change as a person. Maybe a free ebook or something?.

    Or atleast give me some methods. I cant find any on the internet that can work with me :*(
     
  7. mango_goose

    mango_goose Active Member

    we cant post methods on the site...
    AND anyways.... With this sort of stuff its always one step forward one step back....you feel down now... but you will feel better again soon.... but then you will feel bad again... we cant tell you how to change yourself so you will like yourself either but we can give you ideas...
    One idea might be to make a list of the things that you dont like and are changeble.... Like maybe ya dont like your hair colour... ya can dye it.... Or ya can just re invent ya whole self....
    And maybe ya can challenge they way you think... then you wont have to change anything...
    Like sometimes i thinl everyone hates me... so then i make my self thing of why they would hate me.... when you think of why they would hate you challenge that too... so if you think they hate you because your boring... you think well y would t hey hate me because im boring?? stuff like that
    Try and get some excersise.... It creates the natural happy drug in ya brain n makes ya feel better.. so does chocolate and bananas... mmm chocolate coated bananas MMMMMMM
     
  8. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    What you really have to do with your situation is to not focus so much on thinking about how things are going to be years down the road. One day can change your life and your fortunes. Who knows what could happen in 5 or ten years? You can't say. Nobody can. But at your age, you have opportunities. Or you will have. You just have to recognize them when they come along.

    But for the time being, focus on the now. Don't worry about next week or next year or ten years from now. And yes. Education is important. If you're having academic difficulties, the best thing you can do is try and find a tutor who can help you find ways to work within your limitations and still succeed. Believe me. There's always somebody willing to help young people. Young people are our future. You just have to find the right people. I do think a school counselor would be a good place to start. Even if you don't think your school has one, you should talk to your teacher and find out. Even if your school doesn't, your teacher will probably know how to get you some help. You don't have to face the world alone. Teachers are great people, generally speaking. They do what they do because they love it. They want to help. It's their job. If your teacher can't help, talk to other teachers at the school or the principal.

    You don't have to tell them you're feeling suicidal. Just tell them you're having problems and ask if there's someone you can talk to. They'll probably know what you mean. The worst thing you can do is withdraw. I know it seems like it's easier but it makes things harder in the long run.

    As far as friends go, don't worry about that so much. It doesn't really matter why they're your friends. Lots of times, people like you more than you think they do. People are just not always outwardly emotional. Don't worry about how many friends you have. All anyone really needs is one really good friend. Don't make a competition out of it. So what if other people have more friends? Everybody wants to be popular when they're young. I know. You will find that it matters less and less as you get older.
     
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