After reading this forum i decided to post. I am quite young at the age of 15 and have been wanting to meet my maker for quite a long time now. I think the only thing that stops me at the moment is the method. If i had a method i think i would be gone. I never thought it would be so dam hard. Why i want to go is because the future doesnt look bright. I will probaly fail my education because i am unable to consentrate at home. i dont know why but i just cant do it. And the people who keep saying how education is important do not help because it makes me feel even more bad because i think i will fail. i have friends but when i am around them i feel as if i dont belong. i think i am boring and i think why are they my friends. i think the only reason i have friends is because they felt sorry that i had none. I think like i am more of a nuisance than a friend. The main reason is because i dont like my self and who i am. I cant change myself and i cant make my self like my self. I lack totaly confidence and commuinication skills. I am lazy and have no concentration. i am underweight weak and many more things. After all that who did i try to seek help from>? God but that didnt help because i didnt receive any help that way. I still belieave in my religion and in god but in the back of my mind i think that religion could just be a way to keep people in there place. By that i mean it stops people from murding others and stops bad things from happening because it controls masses of people. in the past few weeks i was constaly thinking of methods but now i am switching from both thinking of methods and staying. I have other problems too but id rather keep them out sinc ei dont like talking about them. I doubt that anyone will reply but if you do then please dont advise me to contact someone in real life because i wont you probaly bored of this long post by now. sorry for being my own boring self. Edit: Also the way i forget prolems is by playing online multiplayer games because i forget about everything else. I am addicted to playing games and cant stop even if theres important things to do. Ruined my eyes already but i keep going. Its like alcohol and makes you forget but it still comes with is addictive quality and life ruining quality.