Dont know where to post... First... im rarely on the forum lately cause im busy and under severe stress... i have bad memory problems so i cant remember if i open any of threads and when i was last time here... i will do search in next days when i have some time... I just have to post this... cause i dont know whats happening with me... i dont know who i am, what i want in life... I actually never know... I am not depressed anymore, but i am sad lot of time, more than before depression...And i am much more anxiety... I feel so lost and confused... and so empty... i smoke a lot again and overeat all the time... All this bothers me so much... I tried to accept myself so hard but i just cant... i dont like myself and i cant change it. Well my self esteem is much higher now, but its still far away from normal... My mood swings all the time... few days i am happy / little anxiety and i know what i want (at least i think i do).Then Few days i am more sad and really anxiety... I think that noone care about me... No mather how much i hang out with someone, i just cant get so close to become good friends. I also start locking myself in... i dont trust anyone anymore... Not after i remembered how many times my so called friends betrayed me in past year or 2... plus even my stupid schrink send letter to my mum that she have to come to talk. (i stop visisting him) Next time when im going to be depressed again (its going to happen real soon if anything wont change) i will stay away from this stupid schrinks... I come to my schrink in biggest crise in my life, i was cutting few times daily and think about suicide all the time and in 2 months of visiting my schrink he was only asking me about my past instead of giving me any advice... So if this is how my life will looks like... then i really will have a bad one... sorry for long and boring post, you dont have to reply And i hope you all are doing better. Take care.