Ok... This is super embarrasing for me which is why I've come here. Basically I know this girl and no matter what I try... I can't stop finding her incredibly attractive. I've known her for 6 years, we are best friends... and we live together.
For the first 5 years of our friendship she had a boyfriend and my emotions were under control... I was genuinely happy for her and accepted there was no chance. Although I have always kept with me what she said when we were 16... which was that if she wasnt with her b/f... she wud go out with me. I'm 22 now and I still remember that - even though I doubt she does or thinks that now after all these years.
Anyway, this sorta ties into my other thread, she split up with her boyfriend for 2 months. In this time I really wanted to at least try... but I was scared of messing up a close friendship. I'm so unsure of what I feel... I think its mainly sexual... There were a few parties where she got pretty flirty with me as if she wanted me to do something... kinda cos then if I made a move then it was on my head cos I chose to make it a sex thing and not bring emotions into it? I dunno. Examples being "get into bed if your going to" and putting her legs on me in another instance... inviting me round hers when it was just her and me then basically being there in just a short nightie.
Despite this I was scared that I was getting the wrong end of the stick. She is now back with her b/f and we live together. She loves him... I know that much. I honestly get extremely sexually frustrated tho when I see her with skimpy shorts on... or a corset.. or whatever. People say she isnt even that hot, but to me she just does something... I dont know why, I guess cos she used to tell me so much about her sex life, and because its something I can't really have which is what makes her so attractive? She was pretty upfront with me about sex and told me the guys she got with when she was single. I know pretty much every aspect of her sex life from start to finish. What gets me is some of the guys shes had in those 2 months were complete assholes, which again made me think maybe I had a chance if she wasn't that fussy and it was just about the sex. I don't know. She didnt tell her b/f the people she slept with and actually lied to him... I know though and that again kinda pisses me off due to the fact shes with him again based on lies.
I just feel like a pervert... I think she pretty much knows given half a chance I would bang her brains out and think of the consequences after. I know shes a cock tease too... she enjoys it, but I just kinda think there might still be something there too. What do people think and does anyone know how I can stop it? Focusing on other girls doesn't work, it just goes back to her and I don't want to not know her as a friend... I also can't tell her cos that will lose her too. I just think its unhealthy and for the 2 months she was single I kinda wished I tried it on and took that risk as she was pretty loose... and now I just regret it. I think that if I had got it out of my system the appeal might have diminished. Although I doubt we would be friends now. I know I need a g/f of my own but I really need to find a way to not constantly think of this girl sexually and getting a g/f isn't instant.
I know this sounds a bit crap, don't get me wrong, it isn't just her looks, I think she is the funniest, most intelligent girl I know too... which makes it even harder.. If we ever had a relationship I think the sex would been amazing as shes experienced (I'm not!) but yeah, also the fact she isnt just a pretty face. I dunno, it sounds like a stupid crush... but I've had many a crush and they come and go... this has stayed for so long. Please help.
For the first 5 years of our friendship she had a boyfriend and my emotions were under control... I was genuinely happy for her and accepted there was no chance. Although I have always kept with me what she said when we were 16... which was that if she wasnt with her b/f... she wud go out with me. I'm 22 now and I still remember that - even though I doubt she does or thinks that now after all these years.
Anyway, this sorta ties into my other thread, she split up with her boyfriend for 2 months. In this time I really wanted to at least try... but I was scared of messing up a close friendship. I'm so unsure of what I feel... I think its mainly sexual... There were a few parties where she got pretty flirty with me as if she wanted me to do something... kinda cos then if I made a move then it was on my head cos I chose to make it a sex thing and not bring emotions into it? I dunno. Examples being "get into bed if your going to" and putting her legs on me in another instance... inviting me round hers when it was just her and me then basically being there in just a short nightie.
Despite this I was scared that I was getting the wrong end of the stick. She is now back with her b/f and we live together. She loves him... I know that much. I honestly get extremely sexually frustrated tho when I see her with skimpy shorts on... or a corset.. or whatever. People say she isnt even that hot, but to me she just does something... I dont know why, I guess cos she used to tell me so much about her sex life, and because its something I can't really have which is what makes her so attractive? She was pretty upfront with me about sex and told me the guys she got with when she was single. I know pretty much every aspect of her sex life from start to finish. What gets me is some of the guys shes had in those 2 months were complete assholes, which again made me think maybe I had a chance if she wasn't that fussy and it was just about the sex. I don't know. She didnt tell her b/f the people she slept with and actually lied to him... I know though and that again kinda pisses me off due to the fact shes with him again based on lies.
I just feel like a pervert... I think she pretty much knows given half a chance I would bang her brains out and think of the consequences after. I know shes a cock tease too... she enjoys it, but I just kinda think there might still be something there too. What do people think and does anyone know how I can stop it? Focusing on other girls doesn't work, it just goes back to her and I don't want to not know her as a friend... I also can't tell her cos that will lose her too. I just think its unhealthy and for the 2 months she was single I kinda wished I tried it on and took that risk as she was pretty loose... and now I just regret it. I think that if I had got it out of my system the appeal might have diminished. Although I doubt we would be friends now. I know I need a g/f of my own but I really need to find a way to not constantly think of this girl sexually and getting a g/f isn't instant.
I know this sounds a bit crap, don't get me wrong, it isn't just her looks, I think she is the funniest, most intelligent girl I know too... which makes it even harder.. If we ever had a relationship I think the sex would been amazing as shes experienced (I'm not!) but yeah, also the fact she isnt just a pretty face. I dunno, it sounds like a stupid crush... but I've had many a crush and they come and go... this has stayed for so long. Please help.
