ok i really don't know where to start but here it goes I'm tired of being alone yet i don't want anyone to come near me sometimes i think it would be nice to have a bf but other times i want nothing to do with guys I'm really have no idea what it is i want.whenever a guy likes me or pretends to i completely freeze up and i get freaked out i have never been good with people but since i have grown up its gotten a lot worse i know that there's plenty of people who will pretend to like/love you to get what they want and i don't want to have to go through all that crap i don't want to be used and abused like I'm just some piece of trash someone can dispose of whenever they feel like it and i know that there are plenty of people who pretend to be different from that but they end up just being the same. yeah I'm very pessimistic but that's because i have seen how people get treated their all loved up one minute and the next their broken hearted because they were used and abused by their bf/gf i just don't want to have to go through all that i don't want to be messed about i have enough problems as it is without being broken hearted to. i really have no faith in people because all some people do is act like animals all they want to do is screw everything in sight (i swear their like a box of hamsters rolling around on each other)they don't care who they hurt as long as they get what they want its just the truth i know that there may be plenty of good people out there who aren't like that but i wouldn't hold my breath while i try and find them.i really think that I'm the only one who feels like this and i cant talk to my friends about this because most of them are all loved up i don't want to turn around and say to them that most of their relationships wont last because i know what people are like i mean what kind of friend would i be ? so instead i just shut up and be their shoulder to cry on when they get broken up with or cheated on even if i knew that it would happen anyway.i dont believe in true love or any of that sappy crap because like isn't some big chick flick where everyone lives happily ever after i mean the chances of anyone meeting their soul mate (also dont believe in) are very slim i know many people dream of a perfect relationship but such a thing doesn't exist anyone no ones perfect are they ? so why do so many people believe that if they look hard enough or suffer enough that their perfect partner will appear we all know thats never going to happen it never has and it never will thats just life for you as depressing as that sounds its the truth.