Confused

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by darkgirlforever, Jun 8, 2012.

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  1. darkgirlforever

    darkgirlforever Active Member

    So i basically joined tonight because i am confused about my self-harm. First a little background. I started self-harming my freshman year in high school because i had depression issues and my home life was a wreck. My mother found out that i was self harming and suicidal that year and did nothing to help me. This was when i was about fourteen and i'm about twenty now. Anyway i've cut myself off and on over the last few years. I've been able to stop for months at a time but then something would set me off and i'd start again. My senior year i told my mom about my self-harm because it was getting out of control and she sent me to a therapist. The therapist put me on anti-depressants and talked to me like four times and then decided i didn't need regular visits anymore. I lost all of my close friends my junior year so i pretty much have not been able to talk to anyone about this in a long time. I was doing pretty good with my self harm until yesterday. I hadn't cut in about 6 months when some dating issues and bad decisions i made set me off and i just lost it. I messed up my left wrist pretty good and now i feel like an idiot because i know better but i did it anyway. I'm afraid my urges are going to come back now and i have no one to talk to about them. My dad never knew about my self injury i don't think and my mom would just think i'm too old for this type of thing but i just can't help it sometimes. Advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...I believe we harm ourselves when we do not have a voice...it is the way we let the tormenting steam out of the kettle...if you fear what you are going to do to yourself, I think it is best to seek professional help again...you are older now, and can interview and decide on a therapist that might be more atune to these issues...please be safe and know that when you are hurting yourself, you are hurting someone of value...we forget about that in the service of trying to lessen the pain
     
  3. darkgirlforever

    darkgirlforever Active Member

    Thanks for the advice. I'm really trying to work on not self harming right now but i don't know if i can keep my urges under control anymore.
     
  4. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Hello.

    Sorry you are struggling with that. We go back to things that are familiar to us... It's to be expected under stress
    your mind will go there. Don't have great advice but I guess don't be too harsh on yourself about these urges but
    try to supress them with coping tools for sort of thing and try to restrict it to the mildest forms possible
    if you absolutely must do something - so that you can steer away from the behavior, hopefully for good some day.
    Good luck.
     
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