Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lotr2012, Sep 18, 2012.

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  1. lotr2012

    lotr2012 Active Member

    So just to throw this out there...i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and depression. I am twenty four now, and I had my first hospitilization at the age of sixteen. This is embarrissing for me to admit, but sense then I have had over fifty hospitilizations in psychiatric facilities. I seem to have this cycle where I have a crisis, and then I go into a hospital. Then I start to feel better and get released. I do better for a period of time, but then a month or two later, I am right back in the hospital. I have done a lot of thinking about this, and I have come to realize that sometimes when I go in, I am truly not suicidal. Idk, i feel crazy admiting this but there are certain aspects about the hospital that are comforting. I have an outpatient psychiatrist, and therapist. I am even doing support groups, but for some reason this is just not as fullfuilling as being inpatient. Am I crazy? It has gotten to the point where on a daily basis I have urges to go to the hospital. Then it turns into urges to do something to myself to get me in the hospital. I have come to realize that this is no way to live. I do not want to live my life going in and out of hospitals. How do I break this cycle? Any help or tips would be greatly apprecaited. Thanks
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    The hospital seems safe i get that and it is a place to meet people socialize but you are right hun you have to stop the cycle. Here we have a team called ACT team acute community therapy it is a team of doctor nurses social workers and more and this team works with you outside hospital. If you need to talk to someone they are t here 24 hours
    I think if you could ask you doctor if there is such a team in your community to get a referal It has kept someone i know out of that cycle you are in now It works this person does not even want to go to hospital anymore hugs to you
  3. Calleo

    Calleo Well-Known Member

    At least you admit this to yourself, that's a good start.
    Are you alone otherwise? Do you live alone? Have a bf/gf? Anyone?
    Or is the hospital more comfortable than your home?
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