confuseddd

[underthestars]

So i've been in this relationship on and off for 16 months with a guy that i thought i loved but now idk and idk how to get out of it. Its so confusing in my mind. Him and i have been on and off but through it all hes always been there. I havent been an easy gf and i appreciate that hes stuck around. We always used to have so much fun together but a month and a half ago i started suffering from depression(coincidentlly around the time i started having sex with him-tho thats not the only reason) but ever since then i havent felt the same. Idk if the depressions causing me not to feel the same or if its him. At the same time i'm not sure if breaking up with him would fix my problems either. We're around each other almost 24/7 and losing him would be like losing a part of myself. I've always believed that i loved him and up until the i started feeling depressed i did. But he cant make it better no matter how hard he trys and that scares me. some how hes connected to how i feel and i need help sorting this all out.

 

[resistance]

It could be the depression causing this - have you told your boyfriend you are feeling depressed? Do you know why the depression started? :hug:

 

[underthestars]

Yea...he knows...hes been here through it all. I think it started from stress at school. I've been under a lot of pressure lately and the fact that i'm graduating is making it worse.

But once my parents found out about him and i being active they flipped. They are both so convinced that its the guilt of what i did with him thats causing me to feel like this and that i wasnt emotionally ready for it. They blame my miserable mood on our vacation over the anticipation of what i was going to do with him. Unless it subconciously possible to feel like that without knowing it, my depression is not because of what we did. But now its worse because they've basically forbbien me to see him and are trying to break us apart. I just dont know what to do nemore.