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Confusing non-thoughts

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Cariad_Bach, Jun 27, 2016.

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  1. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    Thoughts of people who would be left behind, things that used to anchor me, are almost meaningless. Only almost. In reality of course I'm blocking them out. Can't think about them too hard. If I let myself think about other people, those who might be affected by my choice, I feel more sad - to sad to bear.

    Bizarre. Not sure I'm fully able to rationalise this. I'm not fully conscious of those things, which appears on the face of it to make me less safe - no... Dammit, what are they called? Now I'm distracted. What are they called? Protective factors.

    That's it. With no protective factors, how can I keep safe? But - thinking about them, that makes me so sad. And the more sad I get, the closer to unsafe I get. Ergo, thinking of my supposed protective factors is dangerous. And avoiding thinking about those factors is safer...?
    OCDNihilism likes this.
  2. twinklil

    twinklil Well-Known Member

    Dear cariad_bach,
    You have one protective factor and that is your voice and being able to reach out for help as you did here. I'm sorry for the sadness that you were experiencing and I pray that as time has passed that you may be feeling better as over time feelings do tend to change in some way. These aren't non thoughts your thoughts matter and so do you.
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