Confusion

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Divine Rage, Oct 26, 2007.

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  1. Divine Rage

    Divine Rage Member

    Hey guys.

    Well the main reason for me being suicidal, is that life makes no sense.

    Why must some people be bums and live on the street? Why do I get all these opportunities I don't even want? This makes me really depressed.

    Why do I need other people to be happy? I think it's weak to need people to make yourself happy, you should be able to function by yourself.

    Why can't I succeed at something I want very badly? Why am I not the best?!

    Why do I have to justify my existence? I didn't ask to be born.

    Why must I become part of the rat race? You lose your freedom once you become part of the rat race.

    What do dreams mean?

    Where would Jesus be if there wasn't a bible written?

    That's just a few things I don't understand. I'm on pills that make me sort of "high" at the moment so my suicidal thoughts aren't that serious. I'm too scared to kill myself anyway. I cut myself and burnt myself with cigarette butts, still I am scared to die. Maybe it's not the phyiscal aspect, but the fact that there's still some unfinished business on earth for me.

    When I get that feeling that I just wanna disappear forever, every second, every minute and every hour is a bonus, everything is a bonus... I love this feeling. There are also some things I want to do before I die. This sort of counters my suicidal thoughts for a while.

    Now I don't understand why I sought people to say this to? Why didn't I just type it in word and delete it afterwards... :\
     
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