Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by lost_child, Jun 5, 2008.

  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    God I hope I say this right....

    I'm not lesbien, or bi, I have "casual" or one nite stands with men...I'm not confused I don't believe by my sexuality, although i do have issues surrounding sexuality (way tooo difficult to explain).

    Ok...the reason i've posted is because, my mum was never there for us, she wasn't able to give the emotional support a child needs, nan wasn't either (but not going there) some days I feel like that child who want's a "mum" to hug her, love her, hold her, tell her it will be ok, just do motherly things for her, and for her to be able to talk to her mother..because of these needs that I get I feel that people will think I fancy them, or am after a relationship, but I'm not, so now I'm finding it difficult not only to form some sort of relationship with men, but with women also cause I don't want them to think I'm after something i'm not...I'm not making much sense, this is so confusing. does anyone have any idea what I'm trying to say, can anyone make any sense out of me,.
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Actually, I have the same. Well at least in regards to the 'child in need of motherly love'. I grew up without my real mum and my dad has always been emotionally distant really. Now I'm rather dependant towards my friends, always in need of hugs and all. This often leads to guys (and some girls) thinking that I have feelings for them, especially 'new' friends. In the past I myself have also confused affection with actually being in love, with now as a result that in the entire group of guys that I am befriended with back in my old home town, only one guy is not an ex of mine.

    Nowadays I myself know the difference between being in love and having affection for someone. And all my friends know what I'm like.
    Making new friends, I find rather hard though. But I 'solve' it by making sure that they see I'm flirtatious and need a lot of hugs around all my other mates as well. Or when I feel like they think I feel more for them, I tell them that I am rather flirtatious and touchy so to say, but that I'm like that around all my mates.

    I wish you the best. I know it's hard cos people judge so quickly in this world :hug:

    Feel free to drop me a line in an email or on IM (info is in my profile) if you wanna talk about anything :arms:
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    You desire affection, but go about relationships in a very superficial, unaffectionate way.

    You might be afraid of forming serious relationships because you're afraid of that person not "being there" for you (being left by that person) just as your mother wasn't there for you.