i used to cut alot. i stopped all by myself my depression lifted and everything was great...i wasnt sad...but i was angry i dont know why but now now the anger it lifting...well not really its more like im losing the energy to be angry and all my hatred for everyone else is now giving way to the self hatred that at one time i thought i had lost. it found me. :unsure: or maybe i found it. i was directed to sf by a doctor once...he said it may help me. he said getting everything out will help...so over and over ive told everyone my story what ive been thru from the beggining...recently i was hospitalized...only 5 days but the doctor there...i told her i didnt understand why i still felt so bad after i had told my story so many times...she asked me if i ever expressed any emotion towards anything in my life and of corse i said no...i always hide myself..."how are you, how was school"....my answer always fine....my reality never even close. maybe i want someone to know im not fine, or maybe i want to be left alone in my misery im not quite sure. im not going to lie i am completely aware that only i can figure myself out...but i dont want to. so what do i do about that? how do i make myself want to get better...hhow do i make myself WANT to stop cutting?