Iv been apart of this site for a couple years now , I don’t post to often , idk why , cuz I assume no one cares I guess . This year on top of being bi polar and major depressive , I found out I have diabetes type 2 , run in my family no big deal . Diet exercise I got this . I was actually able to be optimistic . 3 weeks later I found out the diabetes was already working it’s magic and I’m in stage 2 congestive heart failure , the doctors said even with medication and management . I should begin to get my affairs in order. Most ppl with CHF live only 5 years with proper management... and my doctors have tried to be optimistic, but my cardiologist believes I may not even be around that long . Iv always be suicidal. But this is surreal , at 30 to be told I’m gunna die in a few years . Idk how to feel. Part of me says don’t bother with the meds let’s just get this over with . The other part is scared now . My life’s been awful for 3 years now . And this is kind of the cherry on the cake . And iv just finally gone numb .
I came to this site quite few years ago- 2011 it says - with late stage 3 CHF. I was border between stage 3 and stage 4 and the symptoms ranged down the line between the two, and have ever since. I was expecting 2 years at very most when I got here, it is after all progressive disease and I was right on the the cusp of end stage.... And yet 7 1/2 years- later here I am. Have been plenty of down times, with health especially, kidney failure, heartattack, a stroke, as well as the daily issues and swollen feet and hands, not working, shortness of breath etc etc etc.. but still here - and that time is not years- I dont care about years or days - what so I care about?
I have
watched 3 daughters graduate hs
2 daughters graduate college
2 daughters get married
held my first 2 grandchildren, waiting for 3rd this spring..
20th wedding anniversary and a trip to mexico
Seen my youngest , a son go from 1st grade to HS
Taken him on a hunting trip and shot his first deer
Met friends that mean more than I can explain
... more other very big "little" things then I can count
It has not been easy always, and more times than I can count I questioned if it was worth it to keep trying. But it has been worth it and I have realized dr predictions mean absolute jack crap.
From somebody that was predicted to be dead 5 or 6 years ago, intended to be dead nearly 8 years ago- to you- Don't listen too close to the predictions, listen to life and live a life that you want to have to the best of your ability. You have health issues, I understand far better than most as my life seems often to revolve around my health issues, but in reality it revolves around many other things....