I'm a 44 year old woman first off. I suffer from PTSD, agoraphobia, depression, and anxiety. I've been unemployed since January and have made some progress mentally, but I relapsed significantly in July due to my car breaking down and not being able to get to my appointments with non profits and ministries. Car is fixed now but now I can't force myself to get out. I eat less than 300 calories/day and I contemplate and research ways to kill myself all the time. I have two grown children, two granddaughters who are both under two years of age, and a 14 year old son who lives with his dad. I honestly think they would all be better off without me in the long run. I don't have insurance and live in the U.S. so I really can't get inpatient treatment like I need. I love my family but I am sick of being a burden on them!!!