considering tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Oct 4, 2009.

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  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    No matter how hard I struggle I always seem to fail, I can never be the person I want to be I don't see the point in going on any more, since everything I do in life is for nothing.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Who is the person you want to be? I had to learn to accept who I am. Once I did that, I became free of that agony.
     
  3. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It is not to easy for me, if I can't be better looking, in better shape, be more outgoing, have friends, etc I really don't want to or deserve to live.
     
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    What are the kinds of things you are interested in?
     
  5. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Right now I am a law student taking a leave of absence, but I really want to do something artistic like writing or painting.
     
  6. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Well you are clearly direction oriented. You are headed towards acquiring an advanced degree and you have multiple interests. That's reason enough to go on, isn't it?
     
  7. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Not really I hate myself and my life I really just want everything to stop once and for all.
     
  8. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I love to draw and paint. I live in a small place with other people so I don't have room or the quiet to do so. I'm going to start going to the lake to draw now that I have a car again. Being able to draw amazes me, and it makes me forget the bad stuff.
     
  9. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    i'm on medical leave from work and school too. it's tough and everything seems like it's not going to work out. i'm sure it will for you.

    why don't you change majors?
     
  10. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    The school only has law as a major to change majors I would have to change schools which would take another year and at 22 I am already getting too old.
     
  11. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    You're not getting to old, and maybe law is the right practice for you after all. It can be hard to decipher your goals and needs when you're depressed and your life seems like a tunnel to nowhere. Remember, you're on medical leave for a reason, but once you start getting better, I'm sure you'll have a clear picture of what will bring you satisfaction.
     
  12. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    At 52, I'm 30 years older than you. I went to college when I was 42. It was such a treat after 24 years of working. I haven't finished college, at present I'm a forever college senior. I started my major in computers but when I saw the direction the major went in, I didn't want anything to do with it. I took a beginning drawing class and I fell in love. Even tho I haven't finished school, I have my art with me forever.
     
  13. My_eyes_lie

    My_eyes_lie Well-Known Member

    You are far from too old. I'm 26 and JUST was released from my medical leave. I'm getting my Master's in OT. It's never too late to be what you might have been. You're so young. You can still do anything you want. The world is at your finger tips.
     
  14. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    22 has always seemed very old to me, besides I am in a position where I am incapable of making the changes I need, I am completly dependent on my familiy who offer no emotional help. There is no good reason as to why I should be alive.
     
  15. sad panda

    sad panda Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. I'm kinda worried that a perfect oppurtunity is gonna come by, and i'm not gonna pass it up.

    Trust me though, things will get better, you just have to try and get through the bad times to see the good.. know it's really really hard sometimes though.
     
  16. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I still don't see any point in living I should end it now, if I wasn't such a coward.
     
  17. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Suicide is an option, but can you think of any other option except suicide for right now? As in, the next day?
     
  18. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I thought of nothing but killing myself for weeks and I am begining to think I am ready to do it real soon.
     
  19. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I find it interesting that you say you can't do something or are incapable of doing them. The reality of it is that yes you can, and you are capable of making the changes. There maybe something that is holding you back. Fear, avoidance, I don't know what , but if you really examine what you are saying, you will find there are clearly thinking errors there.
     
  20. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    I am completly dependent on my parents emotionaly and financially (sp) I can't do anything without their support but they don't support anything I want to do
     
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