Constant pain and sorrow

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadhart, Nov 27, 2014.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I try not to think about it, but the hurt that has been a part of my life never seems to fully go away. five years ago I got rejected and it still hurtsd and I don't fully understand why it does. I have been over eight months sober, but the pain from that and other things is still there. I used to drink to numb the pain because i didn't have the will to take my life. But i choose to stay sober, yet the pain is too much sometimes and I am not happy with life. I don't think i will ever be happy or fully heal from the heartache. Sorry for being all over the place with this.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi sadhart, being rejected is under estimated by a lot of people. It can cause severe distress. Well done on not going for the bottle on this because as you probably know it will make things much worse, I do hope you can recover from these feelings, keep posting and writing if it gets things off your chest :hug: :hug:
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Sadhart, it's sad to see you suffering so much. Life is hard but you have amazing to stay sober for eight months. That's brilliant and something to be proud of. Such an accomplishment achieved. You have my respect for that.
  4. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I started the day off today feeling okay and I went to an AA meeting. I was glad that I did that, I guess. But then when I returned to the recovery house, my house mate was on the pahone with his lady friend and talking about how they were gonna meet up later. He sounded so confident and comfortable talking to her. The whole way he was tlaking and flirting made me think about Michelle and being rejected by her.

    I remember the last time she and I spoke in person, I was tlaking to her and saying how I really wanted to get to know her more when she just cut me off mid sentence and walked away saying she needed to finish her drink. I saw her finishing her drink while she went over to two other guys and spoke to them. unlike me, she enjoyed being around them. It was five years ago and it still hurts and I am ashamed of that.

    I really wish I could find the courage to end this pain. And NO I don't know how I would kill myself....I just know it's times like this when the hurt is so bad and it seems it will never go away that I see no point in conitnuing to live when there is nothing but hurt all the time. I'm sorry for being so dramatic, but I am so sick of life right now.
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