On October 10th I was fired from best job I ever had. I was a nurse in a neurology clinic. I failed to document a phone call, and bam- I was given my walking papers at 5pm that day. I went home and tried to overdose on a bunch of pills, but it didn't work. Basically, I ended up in a psych ward for a week with new meds to try. Since then my life is a void. I live with my 8 year old son, the only life line I have, and my EX husband. I'd be homeless without his generosity. I have applied for other jobs and end up with rejection after rejection. I have no savings and what's worse- I'm in debt. I see no way out of this. I had another suicide attempt about a week ago, but it failed. Ended up in the psych ward again. This time last year I was on top of the world- I had a great career, a new start in life with my own place, everything was great. The comparison between then and now is stark. I feel nothing but endless despair. NOTHING. Going to bed at night is my only release. Being awake is the nightmare. I go to a therapist and a psychiatrist, but they don't help. I've always felt I was different, not meant for this world. Now that feeling is stronger than ever. The only thing keeping me here is that I don't want hurt my son. Yet the pain, the torment is UNBEARABLE. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. I don't eat, hardly leave my couch, personal hygeine is an afterthought, my house is a wreck. I don't know what to do. I see NO way out of this. Everyday brings more bad news... another rejection letter, another bill to pay. I feel like I failed at life and it's time to check out. I'm so tired. I'm starting to believe my son would be better of without me. I imagine my funeral constantly. I know people will be hurt, but they will move on. My life has boiled down to a cautionary tale. I just want to die.