Constant Suicide thoughts

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by whybother?, Nov 27, 2008.

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  1. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    its getting out of hand now, everything i look at i think of how it cud kill me, like today i was in town and i had to wait at a train crossing,i wondered if the train was going fast enough to kill me, walked into town and i was wondering which building wud be high enough for me to jump off and kill me, i walked past sumthing called the ''brayford pool'' and i wondered if i cud jump into there and drown before sum1 tried to rescue me. i was cooking tea and wondered how long it wud take to die if i put my head in the oven and gassed myself. EVERY last thing i think of ways it cud kill me.

    I went to my doctor yesturday and he was fuck all help. just gave me a few fone numbers to ring, no advice,no medication, nothing at all, just fone numbers which im not gonna bother ringing becuz i know wats gonna happen, i'll have to make an apointment to see a physiatric nurse and u can only see them at the main hospital, which is 10 miles away from my house, and i cant afford to get there and back, so no fuckin point doing that

    i rang a support line today cuz my mum was bitchin at me and i wanted to end my life there and then, tried to hang myself but obviously failed once again, all the person on the fone said was to ignore wat my mum said and concentrate on sumthing else, and to write down my thoughts, that does NOT fucking help me

    but oh no i cant die cuz the selfish fucks want to keep me alive so i can fucking SUFFER :mad:

    if ur pet was suffering as much as i am, ud have them put down, why cant sum1 just put me down :sad: the cutting is getting worse, i cry everytime im alone, im so fucking lonely i dont have any1 in person i love and trust to talk about my problems,
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I know exactly where you are and how you feel. And then I feel guilty as well for having the constant thoughts. What the Hell keeps us going? Just wanted to let you know you're not alone granted not a nice place to be with or without somebody (lol).
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Is there anyone at all you could talk to, it might help relieve some pressure from you. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.
  4. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    in person no, i have no1 at all, the only person who's helped me in the past was the girlfriend at the time, now we aint together or hardly even friends, i dont have any1 :( im so lonely
  5. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    So what are your circumstances at the moment. Are you at school, do you work. Also are you seeing anyone, like a therapist/professional.
  6. whybother?

    whybother? Well-Known Member

    i dont goto work or school , i cant see a therapist due to distance, seen my doctor about it(made a thread about this sorta thing, read that, explains alot)
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Why not try to ask your doctor for anti-depressents but before you do that explain to him that ringing those numbers that were offered to you is of no help to you. Sometimes you gotta put your foot down.
  8. jam1e

    jam1e Guest

    I still have regular suicidal thoughts and i would not consider myself to be particularly depressed at the moment, just stressed out.

    I've learnt to accept them as just being the way i am.:smile:
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