I think about killing myself all the time. All the time. I have everything I need to do it. I'm not sure what's stopping me. I'm not afraid of dying. I guess I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't die, because this time it won't just be waking up from yet another failed overdose. This time, if I don't die, I am going to be seriously fucked up for the rest of my miserable life, and will probably never have the chance to try again. Still, I'm close to not caring about that and just doing it. So close.