Constant wish to die, no reason....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Avepico, Jun 11, 2009.

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  1. Avepico

    Avepico New Member

    I am new here and reading other's threads I ask myself why I am having these thoughts. While there is a pattern of suicide attempts in my family, I have a good life; a decent job, people that love me and yet I constantly have the urge to do myself in. I have a particular method that plagues me, no matter how my day is going, the thoughts come to me.

    I get the thoughts, explain to myself why it is not an optimal solution and yet the thoughts remain and feed on themselves.

    Does anyone else have experience/thoughts on this that may give me insight?
    There is no reason for me to feel this way. I can't imagine it a subconscious cry for attention when the method that plagues me is quite final.
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I think you're confused... You said it yourself you have a good life and loved ones. There's worst shit outthere you know
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    First off, welcome to the site...I'm really sorry that you're feeling so bad that you had to come here, but maybe we can help, if only a little.

    I can only tell you, from my experience, that my thoughts went from a general depressive psyche to specifics over a period of several years. I don't know if that is a "normal" though pattern for those of us that are here! However, part of your question also revolves around family patterns and in my family...we have a tendency toward 'clinical depression'. I have seen, heard, experienced and read about the pattern of suicidal feelings in families, and in general there appears to be a trend.

    I really hope that you can find some contacts and/or friends here. I have found both...and you can consider me to be both, for you. I hope that you will have a short stay, but if not...we'll be here for you!

    Take care,

    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 11, 2009
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to the forum,

    I think it could possibly be a chemical imbalance :dunno:
    If so, an SSRI could help. If I were you I'd talk to my doctor about this A.S.A.P!

    I hope you can get to the bottom of it soon :)
  5. painsource

    painsource Well-Known Member

    Try an ocd site
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Why have you told the OP to try an ocd site?

    She/he has clearly stated that they are suffering from suicidal thoughts and have a history of suicide attempts in their family. :blink:
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Avipeco, Welcome to the forum.. If you just need someone to talk with or to vent your frustrations then feel free to PM me anytime..I'll get back to you when I see you have PM'd me.
  8. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    Besides your chemical imbalance, I would also urge you to explore any psychological reasons for your depression. If you say that you have no reason whatsoever to be even a little depressed, then you are not being honest with yourself. You have to start digging more deeply into your past and find some aspects of your life that you have not been dealing with.
  9. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    Hi Avepico,

    Welcome to the forum, just a couple of things to remember:

    Depression has been shown to be genetic and your more likely to suffer from Major Depression Disorder if either of your parents or even grandparents suffered from it.

    I know the feeling all to well! And I think that is why it is so hard to work through suicidal feelings on your own. Your basically trying to work through rational feelings with an irrational brain. I get caught in these idea loops, in which I sit and argue an idea out in my head for hours, and I never reach a conclusion. I just go round and round and round.

    Have you been to see a doctor or psychologist about this? I would really recommend it. As I said, I think its near impossible to work through these feelings alone.

    Take care and all the best.

  10. Ptitz

    Ptitz Well-Known Member

    ha, i got the same thing. im a smart guy, got many friends, doing good at uni. still, every time i go to sleep im thinkin bout cuttin my own throat.

    for me its just that i was thinking too much. try to keep your mind buisy with something else, maybe it goes away. for me its my study. but i think its just the general ennui when nothing really happens.
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